The Lost Diary of Rizal

Capítulo Siete (CHAPTER VII)

CHAPTER VII

Capítulo Siete

I glanced at Valentina's book from across the table. I spent the night unable to sleep and did not attend my morning classes just to get a hold of my thoughts. It has been a mess since yesterday.

Valentina requested me to tutor her on a certain subject. The mention of it disturbed me. For a moment, I thought she was only teasing me and found out who I really am. She is not only serious, but she still knows not a thing about who I really am. I had planned to tell her the truth about me, however every time I try to, some things hinders me. Therefore, ruining my plan.

It was not my intention to hold the truth from her. I only believed that if she knew I am a Filipino, she would ridicule and belittle me. Given that, the time we were becoming acquainted with each other I thought of her as a foreigner or a Mestiza, and I know what manner of people they are. People in their class cannot be bothered by people like me. They are the type to ridicule Filipinos and any other race that is unlike them. Subsequently, I was right. She is a Mestiza, but very different from the stereotyped populace living in our country. She is kindhearted and compassionate. And this encumbered me more.

I admit. I am selfish to only listen to my own desire to know her more, and to be near her indefinitely. I was wrong, but I do not regret what I have done, particularly now that this predicament has materialized itself. If she discovers who I really am, I am certain that she will be stricken with fear and madness, and without a doubt be terrified of me. For even I, myself, am stumped by the turn of events. Never in any lifetime will I ever think that a incident like this one could occur.

My mind returned to the day when I stumbled upon the Tempore In Viam. I scanned the book, but was not able to fully comprehend all that is written due to the numerous languages embedded in it. The author, whoever he may be, or whoever they are had certainly outdone themselves. He or they had went through great lengths for this book.

As for why they have encoded it into a mix of languages, I do not know. Perhaps it is done to keep the knowledge secret to the ordinary people. If great minds made this, then they intend other great minds to discover it. I must decode the book, for my sake. Even if it will mean that I will have to learn all the languages in the world.

Valentina's book had taunted me since the first time I held it. The afternoon after she had left me, I scanned the first pages and saw something disconcerting that I had to hold on to my determination. If not for my no nonsense manner I would have fainted in fear. But I had to be brave, so I pushed myself on to find out the truth. I read the printed words hesitantly.

© Copyright 1998
Published in 2004
4th Edition Revision

By those words alone, my mind had gone into frenzy. If I were to describe the state it was in, I would say it is like a walk in a dark forest. You will never know what is in front of you nor what is behind. You are unaware of the dangers nurtured by the dark. You bear the inability to know what to do, or if there is still light at the end of these woods. Unbeknownst, if it is either night or day and without time available, you do not know how long you have been there, trapped in fear. But what you do know is that you have to move forward because it is the only way to be free from the dark. I need to find the light.

I need to survive. That was what I thought. I scanned the following pages and the first title. It was a biography. I have only read a few lines when I had decided to stop on a word that had petrified me to my very soul. I do not even want to remember it anymore. I did not wish to know more. I closed Valentina's book and had not touched it since.