The Lost Diary of Rizal

Capítulo Cuatro (CHAPTER IV)

CHAPTER IV

Capítulo Cuatro

I paced around the room with Tempore In Viam in my hand. Earlier I was doing some reading while waiting for her to arrive, and thus far, she has not. That is improbable of her. Something must have happened to her. She is habitually early. I long to look for her but I do not know where to start.

I weighed my options for a moment and I realized something. Valentina and I have never met elsewhere but in the four corners of this room. We constantly meet at lunch, and food was never a matter of concern, for the reason that she brought her cooking. We never attempted roaming the school grounds. Perhaps, it is because we never really felt the urge to. I, myself, spent my noon and free time in this room since I entered this school. This place has always been my clandestine place of escape from the world. And yet I have not considered what she wants. Is she just enduring me in every single instant? It is possible that she desires to have her lunch in the courtyard or under a tree. Perchance, it is a bother for her to cook a spare portion for me day by day. Perhaps, she does not really want me to tutor her, but was inhibited in declining my offer. Has she been suffering under my company all the while?

I felt terror grab hold of me. I do not even know why I am being this way. Maybe it is because she means so much to me that I am afraid of losing her. Perhaps I dare not ask her what she yearns for. For fear that I am not what it is.

I became aware of how selfish I am. All this while, my love had been completely one sided. I kissed her without asking for her consent. I stole that kiss. I poured my feelings on her without regard for how she felt. Whether she accepts any of it or has the mutual desire.  

I made up my mind. It is absolutely necessary that I find her. I was on the point of opening the door when it slid open. She crouched on the other side with her hands on her knees huffing.

"Sorry—I'm—late." She apologized between breaths. I walked over to her with my words caught in my throat. I was so pleased she arrived, that my ecstasy cannot be described by words. I gave her a swift embrace and hastily withdrew.

"I got held up by Adele." She explained after catching her breath.

"Is she your friend? Was she the one who deceived you?" I asked confused at what she brought. I had the notion that Valentina did not want to have anything to do with her. Another illustration of my one sided judgment of matters involving her.

"Yeah. She kind of wanted a favor from me." She simply responded in the vein of brushing away the conversation and headed to our usual table. She started unpacking her durably colorful lunch containers.

A voice of admonition in my head advised me to be cautious. It tried to hold myself back from what I was about to do, but my resolve was stronger.

"What did she want from you?" I asked. My voice, I noticed, was filled with intensity.

"Nothing, really." She shrugged.

"Besides, it isn't like I'm going to do it. Come on, we better eat. I'm famished!" She smiled. A smile that had always triumphed over me, however, today is different. I badly want to know 54 what the little favor was, and what that Adele want my Valentina to do for her.

"Alright, I'll tell you while we eat." She rolled her eyes and pulled me to the table. I noticed I had been standing on the same spot since she arrived. I helped her to her seat and took mine across hers. She offered me my box of food. I glanced at it and noticed an odd "C" shaped food covered in an orange sauce topped with white cream and bits of what I believe to be, cheese and a sprinkle of herbs.