Love Affair

Lost

Skylar POV

After Rakim left it's like something in me was longing for him to come back. I quickly tried to discard the feeling, but I couldn't shake it. I just sat on the couch trying to get a grip on my life. I then heard a knock at the door making me jump a little. I went to the door making sure to look through the peep hole.

"Hey, I didn't know you was stopping by...whats up?"
I asked

I was kind of unsure of why he was here

"Yea, I need to talk to you."

I just looked at him for a moment as it tried to figure out why. I pushed the thought away and stepped aside allowing him to come in. He walked in quickly and started pacing a bit.

"So, what's up?"
I asked curiously.

"So, what do you do when your friends expect you to do something but you're not quite sure that you want to do it?"

"Well, I'd just tell them that I don't feel comfortable doing whatever it is and if they're your real friends then they'll understand and respect you."

He looked at me with a blank facial expression.

"Carti, is everything okay?"
I asked with concern

"Yeah I'm just--"

The ringing of his phone cut him off. He looked at the phone but didn't answer it, quickly stuffing it back into his pants pocket.

"I gotta go" he said then quickly dashed out of the front door leaving me abruptly.

I walked outside thereafter to look for him, but he was already gone. I just went back in the house making sure to lock the door behind me.

What the hell was that about?

I felt a little lost and confused at Carti just popping up at my house uninvited on such random notice. But I pushed the thought in the back on my mind as I walked back into the living room and stretched out on the couch, finishing the remaining minutes that I had on Goldie. That's when my mind began to drift back to Rakim. I grabbed the throw pillow that rested behind his back and brought it to my face, inhaling deeply searching for his scent. I felt myself get pulled from my trance by the buzzing of my phone on my left butt pocket. I opened my eyes and put the pillow aside and reached behind me to pull out my phone to see I had messages from Brandon. 

After the party I went to last night, I decided to ditch school today. 

You don't know nobody no more? What happened 2 u today?

I stared at the screen for a while and opened the message thread and saw the reply that he sent me last night that I didn't read because he was taking too long to respond and by the time he did, I was getting ready and had my mind made that I wanted to go alone. Apparently when he responded back, he was out getting food with the fellas. Yeah right, he was probably getting food with some broad but, I was not gone trip on him about it. 

I was feeling a little tired and decided to stay in and get some rest 2day.

A moment went by as he read my message and the three moving dots appeared letting me know that he was in the process of writing back. I stared at my phone patiently as I waited for his reply. 

So, you basically can't keep up with that party lifestyle huh lol

I scoffed and rolled my eyes and immediately began typing away to defend my social status. 

I can keep up just fine; I just needed a day to myself :)

I was trying to keep it cut and dry. I really didn't show up today because I didn't want to be interrogated about what all went down at the party. I knew he was going to try to dig all into my business but, if he really wanted to know then he would've showed up. 

I hear you. Just don't let them niggas get you catch up!

I rolled my eyes hard at his last text and just sent him a thumbs up emoji because I didn't have any more to say on the matter. Sometimes Brandon feels like a romantic interest but most times he just seems like an overbearing brother that I never had or asked for. I loved Brandon for many reasons but as far as I could tell, it was all platonic but sometimes I get the feeling that he stays close to me for reasons that aren't that clear to me, leaving me feeling fuzzy in the head after it's all said and done. And then I'd see him with a new girl daggling from his arms not long after. I never get jealous or anything but, I got tired of the mixed signals and just decided that with him, friendship is the best thing that we can have with each other. I had no interest in being an unspoken love interest in anyone's rom-com and the butt of all the jokes for being hopelessly devoted to someone who could not give their all to me. 

I can't compete and I won't, but to Brandon he sees everything as some sort of competition and finds it interesting to know that some women will do anything to be trophied first place just to find out that the position is fictitious and lackluster. For guys like him, women are constantly throwing themselves at him desperate to be in his corner in any way that they can just to get a small and even bitter taste of what dreams and stars are made of. I would rather roam freely and explore the pleasures that life can offer me, not a man. But these other chicks be having a whole plan to get locked in with a man in order to provide a certain level of financial security, regardless of if there's any real love there or not. I just can't see how anyone can live happily that way.