Outcasts

Chapter 40: Family Ties

It was hard to discern whether anything had actually happened while staying with Xavier and Graciella. Keegan had stormed out on me in a fit on my 'day of therapy,' and I had made sure I had irritated him however I could since. That mainly included talking to Alex as loud as possible – not on any subject in particular. It occurred to me that I could've set up an elaborate act of being in love with Alex and he probably would've played along; Alex wouldn't have turned down an opportunity to annoy Keegan in any way. Keegan was already paranoid, so that would've been a great way to get under his skin.

However, even though Keegan was on everyone's last nerve – except for Xavier, who seemed to never get tired of listening to him whine about his lost love – pretending to be in love with Alex might've driven him mad. Annoyance is one thing, but insanity in our situation was common enough without any new motives.

I think Alex knew what I was doing, though. He must've noticed my voice get a little bit louder whenever Keegan came into earshot, but as far as I could tell he didn't really care. I spent most of my time with him anyway; a little raised voice to take advantage of it couldn't hurt. He was probably perfectly happy with me taking the advantage, really.

Despite his numerous speeches to me about needing answers for ourselves, Alex and I stayed stationary at the camp. Xavier had been talking about moving on to somewhere new; the blankets had begun to sink into the wet mud as the rain continued through [September.] But I knew that Xavier had no intentions of finding answers; he just wanted to survive. I had to say that I expected more from him. Being always at the forefront of the action back at The Outcasts, Xavier stuck out as one of the main people to count on in a dangerous situation. However, he seemed to have settled for a more quiet approach, and I could tell Graciella and Liliana wouldn't be keen on changing his mind.

Soon enough, the shoulds turned into wills as Alex became more and more diligent with the idea. We will leave and get our answers. We will make sure we don't let the Republicans win. We will. We will. We will. I knew he was right, and I wanted to go too. But at the same time, staying with Xavier was all too inviting. Being able to stay in a safe camp with safe company away from harm would've been great, but I also knew it was impractical. Safe camps and safe company could not exist around me. The Big Three brought danger wherever they went, let alone ex-Outcasts members too.

After about a week of accomplishing nothing but Graciella teaching Liliana how to skip stones; I was still completely useless, Alex decided that it was time for him to go. Despite wanting to stay, I knew that I had to go with him – where exactly that was neither of us were sure. I'd barely spoken a word to Keegan all that week, yet looking over at him while Alex spoke and seeing his face fall made me unsure on whether to bring him along or not. In all the discussions it'd never been raised, but it was unlikely for Keegan to just sit back and watch us leave like he had before.

"I don't want to make your decisions for you," Xavier started carefully, his arms placed firmly around Graciella, "but... You know it's a lot safer here with us."

"That's just the thing though," I said. "Safe isn't an option anymore. Nowhere is safe anymore. Not for us, anyway."

"So you're just going to go out looking for danger," Keegan grumbled, clenching his fists. "What exactly are you expecting to find out there? A little note with Delmort's location printed on it? A blueprint of Republican nuclear weapons?"

"Republican nuclear weapons," Alex spat, "have been around for years. Trust me, if they wanted to use them on us, they would've by now."

"But they know that we have some too, now," I pointed out. "The Crawfielders shot down that plane. They've shot down others, too."