Of Scissors And Scooby Doo

Chapter 33

In the few moments in which he was quiet I feared that this would just be a déjà vu of Saturday and he would run away again. Only when he let out a defeated sigh and I heard him say the next words, did a relieved smile found its way on my face.

"Fine then. Explain."

"Alright, um..." My smile faltered, lips pressed together and brows scrunched when I realized that I had no idea where or how to start. I really hadn't thought this through... and Beck's empty stare didn't really help either. I cleared my throat and hesitantly smiled at him in hope that it would buy me a little more time but all it did was make Beck's frown deepen.

"Are you just going to stare and smile at me? That doesn't really explain anything."

"No, no I... How about we sit?" I asked and motioned to the staircase. With a deep intake of breath Beck turned and instead sat on the floor in front of the row of lockers next to the door, forearms leaning on his knees and hands locked. I sighed, walked over to him and let my eyes run over the locker Beck sat under, spoons and violet balls decorating the orange metal door. For a second I forgot about Beck and wondered what's the story behind that. Why spoons? Why the little violet balls? It didn't make any sense!

"Tori."

"Hm?"

Only reluctantly I tore my gaze away from those spoons and focused my attention back on Beck. Oh, right! Beck. His narrowed eyes bore into mine as he looked up at me from his spot on the floor. "Are you...going to start talking soon?"

"I'm sorry, I'm... yeah." Feeling my cheeks heat up, I sat down next to him. I placed my bag next to me, took a deep breath and willed my stomach to stop churning when I looked at Beck. "So... where do you want me to start?"

He shrugged, his face staying blank. "At the beginning."

I nodded. The beginning. Alright. Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I began. "I met Jade in grade school... in second grade. She saved me from these two boys who... were picking on me. They were pulling at my hair and shoving me and... I was wailing like a baby." I quietly laughed as I looked down into my lap. "Jade showed up and told them that her dad's a lawyer and could put them in jail if they wouldn't stop teasing me. They actually believed her and ran away. From that day on Jade and I were inseparable."

"And you were like... how old? Seven?"

"Yep."

"And you were in love with her. At seven years old." When I looked up at him I saw that his face mirrored the doubt that I had noticed in his voice.

"I didn't know then, of course. But she was the only one I ever wanted to play with and be with and... I just felt that there was something different. I told my parents that I wanted to marry her. Looking back, I think that... yeah, I've been in love with her from pretty early on.

"Anyway, I... Jade became my best friend. Everything was great until her parents got a divorce." I stopped, my face morphing into a deep frown as I watched my fingers fiddle with each other. "I'll never forget the way I felt when I watched that cab drive down the street, Jade and her mom in it... on their way to the airport. It was so, so... horrible. It hurt so much to let her go." God, seriously Tori, get a grip on yourself! I cleared my throat and swallowed another lump. "Long story short, one day Jade decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She stopped writing, wouldn't accept my calls... And I-"

"Wait." I looked up when Beck's voice interrupted me and saw him looking at me, eyes a little softer than before. "Why didn't she want to talk to you anymore? What happened?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "Nothing happened. I didn't know why she did what she did. That's what made it so much harder to accept it. But eventually... I came to terms with it, as hard as it was. Then, on my first day here at Hollywood Arts I saw Jade again and... finally found out why she stopped talking to me. She thought it would be easier that way... But it wasn't."