thought bubbles

when they ask me about you

when they ask me about you,
i present myself with a neutral expression.
keep myself from smiling too much, or smiling too little,
because they can't know how i feel about you.

when the rumor got around that we were a couple,
"they are always together, hanging out by themselves."
i forced myself to laugh.
even though on the inside, i was wishing that rumor was true.

when we talk about our hopes for after highschool,
and talk about your future kids,
i would be lying if i said i didnt wish they were our future kids.
but instead i smile, and say that i can't wait to see your wedding,
or meet your future kids.

i scoff when my mother asks if there is something between us,
and try to ignore the butterflies that are flying around inside of me when you smile at me.
i suppress every thought of a future with you.

because you can't know how i feel
not yet, maybe never.