thought bubbles

i fell in love...with a boy that wasn't even mine

i fell in love...
with a boy that wasn't even mine.

we were best friends at first. we did everything together. he knew everything about me. all my secrets, all my quirks, all the things i was ashamed to share with the world. and i knew everything about him. for some reason, in a world where you can trust almost noone, we found eachother. he was my safety. he was my home. he was the place i went when the world outside my window was too scary to be a part of. for some reason, i trusted him.

i believed that he would never hurt me, never make me feel less than, never rip my heart out of my chest and throw it into the fire.

but he did.

i fell in love with him.
but all he wanted was an object to play with. something to pleasure his mind and body. someone to do the things for him that his girlfriend wouldnt.

i began to fall into his trap.
"it'll be our secret"
"she doesn't have to know"

i loved this boy, and i couldnt see past his manipulations and controlling tricks.
he told me who i was. he told me what i thought. he told me who i loved. he told me when i was okay and when i wasnt.
it wasnt until he left that i began to realize who he really was.

but for some twisted, messed up reason that i still cant begin to fathom...

i still love him.