deceptive facade

SHADOWS

Disgusted or not, I still am a well mannered woman but I can't say the same for Sid. At least one can always greet some very distant acquaintance. But here I am standing and he is sitting there with irritation plastered on his face. I can give you benefit of doubt that you have spinal ailment and cramps in legs that's the reason why you are still sitting, when I, a lady is standing. Don't be chivalrous enough to offer a seat, show the basic courtesy of acknowledging me in the room at least. If you are so ungraceful than let me take you to your nursery class and give you some lessons you very much require.

Su: hi Sid, it's been a long time.

Sid: ya,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, indeed...................... and hi to you as well.

Agreed!!!!!!!!!! You don't like me one bit. You will not breathe the same air with me. But man!!!!!!!!!!!! really you are some piece of work. You will be more than happy to give me a lecture on my conduct and behavior. And here you are devoid of basic civility. God save us from such pretentious f****** like you.

I suddenly realized he has his intent gaze on Isha. I was easily able to make out that Sid thinks that Isha is our child. I have to set the record straight. I don't want him to think badly of Sam.

Sid can very easily think that I and Sam are some sleazy couple and we not even once thought about bringing an illegitimate child in world with no legal name for our relationship. As if, we don't care at all about what kind of social stigma will be attached to the name of such a child.

Su: Efforts to see beyond the façade is futile, she is not ours. I am just taking care for her for a few days.

Well ..............well...............well now he is really annoyed. Let me guess!!!!!!!!! On Venu and Jahanvi. Good that you both are not here.

If there is any truth in the phrase 'if looks could kill', I am definitely dead right now. His glare towards me was also noticed by the nurse and she gave me a sympathetic look. Here is the newsflash for you Sid;

I AM NOT SCARED OF YOUR GLARES. GO PISS OFF

These glares don't even bother me. I am used to of them and learned to live with them. I have a pretty thick hide; otherwise so many times I would have met my creator.

His glares do remind me of a different time and place in my life. I was teleported back to when I was seventeen and my life started to change. I never even once thought that in next 2 years my life will see so much drama and turbulences. Some people don't even experience so many upheavals their entire life. In just little over 24 months my life as I knew came to an end.

For a very long time, like a true optimist, used to see events of that period with positive approach and tenaciously held on for as long as possible. I truly believed that they changed me into a better person. No denying that even now I believe that those events chiseled my personality. But I also now know it also shed light on world around me and how fragile and flimsy is the position of a woman in our society. All those people and ties which I hoped to aid me in my time of need left me high and dry. They left without remorse and backward glance to see how I am coping. If I say that I was not hurt by their action than I, definitely, am lying.

That period of my life taught me to live with disappointment and betrayals of people, on whom we bank on the most in our life. My reliance on my fraternal tie gave me the biggest blow of all. They were first to desert me. Even now, after so many years they cause a kind of unresolved desolation. I don't even feel like calling them my flesh and blood. Sam knows, each time their name is mentioned, awareness of their duplicity ignites heartache and torments me without solace.

I was lost in my inner battles and feeding Isha. Today, Isha's presence is also not giving any respite from my predicament.

I have this hollowness in my pit of stomach, which is indicative of the fact that life as I know is soon going to change again.

Just then I looked up and found Sid gaping at me. I really don't know what triggered it but I was very annoyed by his behavior and lashed out.

Su: you can close your mouth. I am no alien.

Sid: for me you are.

Su: I may not get approval for being good wife material but I still can love kids.

Sid: just that you can have bad influence on any child.

Su: go............stuff your opinion in your useless chauvinist a**. I care a hoot about you and your opinion. You bloody toad.

Luckily Sam woke up otherwise I don't know what I was going to do next. I tried to help him in sitting but he refused. He saw Isha and smiled but I felt that he is dealing some kind of inner turmoil. I never wanted to ask in front of Sid, so kept quite. But something is definitely off.

Sam calling Sid after so many years. It's not just that towards his vary end, Sam want a patch up. I very much doubt that it's at all on his mind. Something else and more significant is taking place. Yet I am unable to pin point it.

Soon, Sam asked me to leave as he wants to discuss something confidential with Sid. This irked me more and left me confused and frustrated.

I never want Sam to be seen as some body without will, so, I collect mine and Isha's stuff and took their leave. This feeling of uneasiness is difficult to get rid of.

I reached home and got a call from vinu asking about Isha. By that time Isha was already in bed and he never wanted to disturb her. I narrated the whole incident to vinu as well. He was shocked by Sam's behavior. Then added may be because of his condition he is acting strange. I for once, knew nothing and couldn't come to any conclusion. So I gave up and went to bed.

Let see what new challenge is there in store for me?