deceptive facade

Decision

Siddharth aka sid is back from the hospital and constantly looking at dried pine cone décor in the corner of living room of his house.

He can't concentrate on one particular thought . He is looking tired and edgy. He , just want this dilemma to be one big nightmare and be gone with new day.

Sid never believed in love, though his parents had love marriage and that too a successful one.

Once his father was gone his mother just lived a life like a robot.

Initially, he thought, it was because of the taboos in our Indian society.

Maybe she was scared of introducing a male, who is not their father, to her children.

She must have thought that her children will not accept it or how far this new person will accept her children in his life.

Many a times, while growing up Sid saw himself and his sister as a big obstacle in path of his mother's happiness.

Recently when he opened this subject, he realisied that his mother's heart practically stopped beating with his father.

She stopped thinking completely about finding a companion, she thought that she can never replace his father in her life.

After this enlightening conversation, he thought it is wise not to marry for love or seek love as it make you a hopeless case.

For him, her life is like a barren land where she is not even ready to change any thing about it.

In his opinion his mother is deliberately suppressing her need for companionship , affection and her desire for physical intimacy because of her misplaced loyalty to her dead husband. You become recluse and waste your life pinning for someone who will never return.

One should move on because change is life and he tried conveying this point to his mother or rather argued about it. We have to move on and leave behind people and memories and embrace life but she was adamant on her stand.

Sid thought he was better off without love if it impacts you in this way. If a person start denying practicality and find peace in passive stand. Well it was not something that he was ready to accept in his life.

With these kind of thought he was just looking around without focusing on anything in particular. Then his thoughts took a different direction this time.

-What will happen to Su after Sam's death?

-Is she going to behave like my mother or she will move on?

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What all I know about her past, ........................on that basis,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I can just bet my last penny that she is just waiting for Sam to die. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if she was there for Sam all along then I am in an unknown land.

-What will I get in end of this deal of sam?

"A wife",,,,,,,,,, who is madly in love with her dead lover.

- Is Su really carrying a fake persona for everyone and keep her true self protected behind it? ??????????????????????????????????

-Why will anyone like to be abhorred, ridiculed and insulted?

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Its Sam, ............ who after so many years spending with her, is not able to see the fact and is still in that imaginary world.

This realization also brought back the memory when Sid saw Su the very first time. He can still feel it as if its happening just now.

Sid was 19 then,...... and being a studious student rarely got to know about the latest development in the locality.

That day after studying continuously for several hours, he came out in the balcony of his room to refresh his mind, taking a deep breath he looked around and his eyes caught slender figure of a young girl of around 14-15 yrs in the house across the street.

She had something about herself which captured him.

In the late afternoon, she was tending plants with great care, snipping a dried twig here and there and genteelly patting each one when she was through. Her devoted care further added to her charm.

Sid was in a trance, he was unaware why he want to imprint this moment in his memory forever.

Her complexion had warm tone and with setting sun making her skin glow like gold, her mahogany brown curly hair like a halo around her face. Her hourglass figure can tempt even a saint and she had an air of innocence. She had such a strong pull on his heart that he wanted just to hold her and keep looking at her.

He was unable to avert his eyes and with each of her movement his heart grew eager to be close to her. Just then somebody called her Su and she rushed in inside.

This made Sid very angry. She went inside and he was unable to see her. Further more he wanted to give some sense to her parents that how can you name such beautiful girl Su....................