New Age Werewolf Series Book 1: Taming A She Wolf

Part 35: Bonds

It was dawn.

I rolled over and found that Ian wasn't there.

It'd been a pretty rough night.

Here's a new position of sleep if you want to call it that: utter unrest. Never had he moved so much in his sleep. He was tossing and turning like no one's business.  I tried to move to accommodate him, but he was impossible. I tried not to complain.

After all, the full moon was upon us...again. He sailed through the last one with little stress, but this time, he was having a time of it. One minute he looked like he could devour me, and the next he looked like, well...he could devour me...in a very, very different way.

I looked over to see him laying on a couch, looking out the window.  "Ian?"

He turned to look at me. "What?"

I swallowed hard.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"I have your scent, it's the full moon, and stop looking at me like that."

I lowered my eyes.

"You know what?" he said, getting up so fast he startled me. "I need to leave."

"Why?"

He rolled his hazel eyes to the heavens. "We haven't spoken about what Dar said."

I swallowed hard again.

"Our bond is the weakest. We are two alphas, and it should be strongest."

I could hear the growl in every syllable. I was rooted to the spot. His words were clear and logical, but the growl was one of frustration and need, which was the wolf inside him communicating. I'd heard this double communication in battle, but not like this. "I need time--"

"Time for what?!" He almost barked, his muscles rippling as if he was about to change. "Time to what, Amber?"

 "I..." I couldn't think of anything to say.

He moved in a flash and the next thing I knew I was up against the wall, staring up at him. His eyes were glittering gold. His hands were planted against the wall on either side of me. "Time to what? Run?" He watched me nod no. "Because I can track you to the ends of the earth now. I know your scent. It drives me crazy and keeps me sane. You are under my skin." His eyes lowered, his gaze roving my body. "And you know what your scent tells me, Amber? Your scent tells me to come closer, but when I do, that mouth of yours--" He traced my lips with his thumb, shaking his head. "Why can't you just let me in-all the way in?" He waited for an answer, and growled, punching the wall next to me. "Stop it!"

"What? What did I do?" I was on the verge of tears.

"Don't you dare be sad, don't you dare miss me when I'm right here!"

I blinked. Where did he get that from?

He turned away. "You won't even open to read me you're so busy trying to protect yourself."

I closed my eyes. I could feel his anger, his frustration, his hurt... I wanted to tell him that I was afraid of being hurt. I wanted to tell him that he was becoming a part of me and I didn't know how to process it. More than anything, I wanted to tell him that a part of me was dying without him, in pain... I reached out to touch him, but he stepped back and snatched his arm away. My tears were about to fall, but I didn't care. "Ian?"

"I'm outta here."

"What?"

He raised his hands as if he was under arrest. "I'm going to help with the new housing, work out, and spend the night away from you!" The last three words were bitten out.

I gasped. "Ian, can't we talk about this?"

"That's the problem," Ian shoved some clothes in a backpack. "I don't want to talk, and the wolf inside me is getting harder to control, especially with you leaving a mating scent all over the place."

I gasped. "Ian--"

"I need you to get your heart and mind in synch about me, and I need some peace," Ian shook his head. "See you tomorrow. The first night of the full moon in strongest, and I know I can't..." He took a deep breath. "Stay out of the woods tonight. See you tomorrow."

"Ian?" I followed him out. "IAN!" I watched him walk away. I wanted to chase him. I wanted to tell him everything. Why didn't I? I covered my mouth, willing myself not to cry, not to howl him back. He was right. I needed to make a decision about us. I had made the decision, though. I was just afraid to take the next step.