a guide to awful human beings

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I consistently do things in wholes. Never halfs or three-fourths, God forbid I ever do anything in quarters. I can fix an iphone and walk a dog and cook really, really good eggs but will never be able to stick a spoon halfway through a jar of peanut butter two inches away from being full. You could call it perfectionism but I prefer 'taking unmathematical things and making them precise and far from infinite'.

Jason Rippling is about six feet, allergic to cats, and hates everything. He is your stereotypical terrible person.

A few days ago he spit in my coffee. A quarter of what was left- to be accurate. He knew I always did things in wholes.

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