I love my brothers brother.

Oh, On a Wire, We Were Dancing

Jasey P.O.V.

I put my diary in my underwear drawer. It was the only place Jack wouldn't look for my stuff. Even though he seemed like that person who didn't care about life and seriousness he's one of the most supportive people I know. I shut the drawer and it jammed a bit, I had to force it shut. I grabbed my drop dead hoodie and went down the creaky stairs. Every step sounded like a door needing rusted, this was never good at night. 

Kitchen, food, I was heading for the food. 

I jumped down the step into the open plan kitchen and went straight towards the sweet cupboard. I really shouldn't of but I felt so crap I just wanted chocolate. I took the Galaxy and placed it on the counter. I went to the fridge and took out the 2l bottle of Pepsi. Just as I was about to leave my phone went off.

talk to me, I know I was wrong. I need to see you, just listen to what I have to say. C x

A fucking kiss? I will never: speak to him, look at him, kiss him or think of him nicely ever again. Delete and Ok. 

I looked up to see that ever so familiar, caring face looking at me. Alex William Gaskarth. My knees going weak once again.

"Oh hey Alex, never saw you there. Gave me a fright!" I chuckled while trying to stuff my phone into my pocket. I look so stupid right now.

"Aw sorry, never meant to. So what you thinking of us so far?" He questioned.

"You's are really amazing, but loud!" I giggled again. STOP LAUGHING. Why was I constantly laughing? He's going to find out I still like him! "Looking forwards to the tour? You'll have everyone all over you, especially them fangirls."

Ugh, fangirls, the band sluts who only like them cause they think their 'babes' or 'hot'. Alex? Yes. Jack? No. Zack? I guess. Rian? No one would touch him because of Cassadee. Their always all over Jack and Alex, I get jealous about Alex but Jack? That makes me feel sick, but he is my brother.

"Oh, can't wait.. Are you coming on tour? I mean, we always have a laugh when we're all together, and I'm sure Jack could use with someone to make sure he doesn't get a hangover everynight." He had a pleading look in his brown eyes. He wanted me to come.

"Ehm, maybe. I'll decide nearer the time. Got some stuff going on here.." I whispered the last bit hoping he wouldn't hear.

Of course I don't, but I'll look really stupid with my phone out constantly ignoring texts from Chris. Damn, I hate him. Chris. He was the reason my phone was ringing. I was standing staring at Alex. I need to stop looking so damn stupid all the time. I muttered sorry and Alex left the room.

"What!" I hissed down the phone.

"Oh you're talking now?" I could sense a smile forming down on the other side of this conversation. "Well just listen, cause you'll want to hear this."

"Speak, I've got a bad signal though so 'sorry' if my phone 'cuts off'" I replied putting emphasis on "sorry" and "cuts off"

"I messed up. I was drunk, that whole thing with Chloe meant absolutely nothing." Lies. "I was thinking of you the whole time. I love you, you are still my world and I still have the photos of us, can we just forget everything?"  

"No." Hang up, why are you not hanging up? I feel as though I can't move my hand to cut off the call.

"Why are you not hanging up then?"

I don't know! Why can't my fingers move, why are the still, like someone's frozen me in time, I feel like a statue, unable to move, breathe or talk.

"It's cause you like what I'm saying, you wanted to hear this, you just didn't know that I knew it. I always knew how to wrap you round my finger, every time."

No, he doesn't control me. He plays mind games, makes me feel crap so I can just 'run back to him', but it's not going to work, I'm so much better and stronger than him.

"Yeah, your right. I like what your saying. Its just your saying it to me. I shouldn't be listening. I should be saying it to someone else. I messed up with them and your the reason, so I'd gladly appreciate it if you could go tell all your bullshit to someone who cares, like Chloe?"

No noise except breathing.

"That's what I thought."

I finally managed to hang up, I never had so much regret in my life, I wasn't usually horrible, I was nice in my view, so why was I such a bitch to Chris? He deserved it, but I felt horrible. I didn't even say anything bad. 

Just go, go to your room and listen to music, block the world out. Or go speak to Jack and the guys about it? No, Alex is there. Room it is. As I spun round on my heels to leave, I saw the fridge, covered in notes, pictures and pointless notes. But in the clutter of the whole thing was a old picture, stuck to the fridge door, just a memory, a good memory, with bad people. It was a photo of me and Chris on our first date. I thought life was great then. They guys had finished recording their album, I'd graduated, and I was dating Chris, except in the back of my mind there was what happened with me and Alex. I tried brushing it away, but the regret and guilt of what I'd done to him was horrible. 

I tore the photo off the fridge and ripped it into tiny, little snowflake pieces, before throwing it into the rubbish bin. I had the lump in my throat, where you need to cry. I grabbed a ice cool bottle of water out the fridge and lent on the table. 

"I've fucked up, I messed up everything I had with Alex and I've become a horrible person. I'm a waste of space." I whispered to myself. I felt a cold drip of water trickling down my face, before feeling a warm pair of arms come round my waist. Before even realising who it was I knew it was Jack. I cried for atleast 5 minutes, just hearing constant calming 'shhs' and 'it'll be ok'. It didn't sound like Jack but I figured it was the tears. Through my tears I told him over and over how I messed up and ruined everything I had and I was sorry, before finally letting out

"I messed up with Alex big time too, and I miss him so much."

 As soon as I said that the grip on me loosened and I realised it wasn't Jack. I looked up and saw one face.

Alex.