Storybook » Hwang Minhyun

INTRODUCTION

„Stay strong, your story isn't over yet.", is a sentence Kang Yeolhee had heard often in her life. At the age of twenty-one, the young woman had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. A mental illness she had never heard about in her whole life. She had looked at her Doctor in shook.

„I thought it was a simple Depression." She had said and brushed her hair out of her face. Dr. Min had looked at her with a soft and warm smile. „We thought the same, Darling." She called her and Yeolhee looked down. „What is this Borderline Personality Disorder?" Yeolhee continued asking. Was something wrong with her personality? Did she have multiple personalities or a borderline syndrome? She couldn't understand the name of the illness at all. And Dr. Min saw it in her frantic eyes.

The doctor laid an arm around the confused girl and calmed her down at first before continuing her explanation. „I see that you don't know what a BPD is." She started slowly and held Yeolhee's hand comforting. „But BPD is a serious mental illness that creates significant emotional instability." Dr. Min explained but all those words didn't make any sense to Yeolhee.

She was only twenty-one, how was she supposed to understand all this?

„The symptoms you are showing are clearly BPD-symptoms. You may think it was a Depression but BPD reaches way further, deeper." Dr. Min explained. „BPD patients show very intense emotions and the feeling of worthlessness and being fundamentally flawed are only some characteristics of BPD." Dr. Min took Yeolhee's arms.

Bruises were sprawled on the young girl's wrists and she tried to wind out of her doctor's grip. „BPD patients also show acts of self-harming." Dr. Min sighed. „Your mood-swings are all caused by this illness, Yeolhee-ah." She said and Yeolhee looked down.

Ever since she was twelve years she had been a victim of bullying in her class. It all started when she laid eyes on the Crush of one of her classmates. The boy was cute and Yeolhee couldn't do anything against liking him as well. She kept it quiet because she knew her classmate loved him. But one thing led to another and after a P.E lesson, Yeolhee's secret crush was known by her whole class. Being pushed and thrown down stairs were things Yeolhee had to deal with every day. And her teachers just closed their eyes on it. Her grades dropped and she feared to go to school knowing she would only get punched or hurt.

The way her classmates hated her made her hate herself so much. She couldn't look into the mirror without feeling worthless and angry. Yeolhee just hated everything about herself.

„You told me about the bullying, Yeolhee." Dr. Min interrupted her thoughts. „I think it is one of the causes of your BPD." She said and Yeolhee looked at her hands. She thought she was done dealing with this. But now, years after finishing school, she had to face the bullying once again and realize it is one of the causes of her mental illness.

Yeolhee looked at the woman opposite of her. Tears were stinging in the girl's eyes. „So what can I do?" She asked. „How is it treated? Is it even treatable?" Questions were flooding out of Yeolhee's mouth in a panic. Dr. Min smiled. „We can prescribe you medication to help with the mood swings and the co-morbid disorders." Dr. Min said while jotting down something on Yeolhee's file that was resting on her lap. „The Medication is not treating the disorder itself though." She continued and Yeolhee nodded. „The only proven method to treat BPD is psychotherapy. In order to achieve a substantial recovery we have to do a long-term and intensive therapy, Yeolhee." Dr. Min said and sighed.

„We can't treat the illness if you drop out of the Therapy." Dr. Min said and handed Yeolhee a sheet of paper, with information about the illness. „I know it's a lot to take in and we should take small steps towards your goal but we should definitely start treating the mood-swings and the co-morbid disorder first." The brunette woman explained and Yeolhee nodded, taking the prescription from Dr. Min's hands.

„People don't understand BPD." Dr. Min said after Yeolhee had put the papers in her tote bag. „So please don't let words like ‚selfish', ‚difficult' or ‚manipulative' get to you. I know it's hard but you can do it, Yeolhee. Stay strong, your story isn't over yet." Dr. Min finished her speech and stood up. Yeolhee followed the example of her Doctor and bowed. „Thank you for all these information, Dr. Min," Yeolhee said and turned to the door of her office. „Feel free to contact me whenever you have a problem, Kang Yeolhee." Dr. Min said and Yeolhee nodded while leaving the office and driving off to the nearest pharmacy.

The weight of her medication was burdensome, but Yeolhee felt empty and couldn't even cry with her frustration about this diagnosis. She was angry at herself for being ill, but she couldn't do anything against it. She had Borderline Personality Disorder and now had to deal with it.