Lies Are our Lives

Chapter 7: Do broken hearts heal?

Dear Dumbass,

I feel...Happy. I feel...Innocent. I...Feel? Different. I don't know what it is...the fact that it's Been half a year and my parents STILL don't know that I'm gay. Or the fact that...I think I'm in love? The new kid ,Alexander, has been acting weird around me. We've come up for a nickname for him: "Ginger".
I like it. It fits him! He's this thin, tall, almost ginger like color hair guy.

Cat and Mary have convinced me to tell him how I feel. They also think he's in love with me! Which I hope is true...
I'm thinking of telling him today. Probably at lunch.

As I finished writing in my journal we reached school. I saw Cat waiting for me.

Cat: ready for your big day?

Jonathan: I'm extremely nervous

Cat: your gonna do fiiiine! He likes you!

Jonathan: but-

Cat: NO BUTS!

Jonathan: FINE!

I sat there in the classroom. Carefully watching the time pass by. I feel like every single time I feel like the bell's gonna ring time decides to go slower. It's somewhat annoying.
Slowly ,but surely , the bell FINALLY rang and it was officially lunch. As me and my friends, including Cat, walked to the green area. The green area was a place behind the school court, bigger than the school court, That only had a few trees in its edges and Nothing but grass. Hence the name "Green Area".
I felt someone suddenly give me a hug. Me hoping it was Alexander hugged back without seeing who it was. It was Mary.

Mary: Oh! Ummm...Surprise hug?

Jonathan:.... i thought you were ginger

Mary: HA! I am NOT ginger

After a few discussions we finally made to the green area. We waited to see Alexander. After a few moments I realized what I was about to do.

Jonathan: Guys maybe this is a bad idea!

Mat: Dont be a pussyyy! You can do this!

Mat was one of the few people who was my friend from the start. So I knew I could count on his opinion.

Mary: You.Can.Do.this.

Mary grabbed my shirt and every time she would pause in middle of her speech she would shake me vigorously.

Cat: yea. He's totally into you!

Mary:....

Cat: what?

Mary:...TARGET SPOTTED

Mary immediately went running pushing me to the floor in the process with Cat following behind her. After I stood up I looked at the direction were they ran and saw them Talking to Alexander.
He was coming this way.
Oh shit
...
OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT

Mat: Good luck

Once Alexander came Mat left us alone.

Alexander: so...why did you wanted to talk?

Jonathan: well...I was Kindaa hoping to tell you something like REAAALLY important!

Alexander: oh yea, I have something to tell you. But you can go first.

Here goes nothing

I took a deep breath...

Jonathan: I like you. And I mean LIKE like you.

He suddenly turns red.

Alexander: Actually...I'm not gaaay.

Fuck

Alexander: I actually have a girlfriend-

Jonathan: oh

Alexander: yeaaaaa

Jonathan: so is it like...

Both: Serious?

Alexander: Yea, I-It is

Jonathan: ah...

Alexander: We've been together for almost two years

Jonathan: yea,yea...I just thought-

Alexander: I think you should respect that though

Jonathan: ah...ok

The bell then thankfully rang. I wanted to not be near him after that.
I haven't told anyone about what happened.

Bell: RIIING

what? It's already 2:30? Well...I better tell the girls what happened.
I was able to find Mary As quickly as possible and Cat was already with me. I took them to the green area where it was pretty private.

Cat: so? How'd it go?

Jonathan: about that....

I told them what happened. Cat was really surprised. But unlike her Mary kept a serious face. As if she knew what would happen. I tried fighting the tears so they didn't have to watch me cry. but my eyes were too watery and they noticed.

Cat: heeey....It's ok. There's...um...plenty of fish in the sea!

Cat tried saying that as un awkward as possible but failing miserably.

Mary: Jona... maybe he wasn't the one?

Cat: yea

Jonathan: *Sniffs*

Mary looked at me and hugged me. Still hugging me she said:
"It's not healthy to keep it all in. We won't judge you if you cry"

Immediately after hearing that I began to cry on Mary's shoulder while Cat patted me on the back repeatedly.

Mary: Everything is gonna be ok...

Cat: You'll find someone better!

Mary: and we're going to be with you! Every step of the way

Jonathan: *sniff* promise?

Mary: I promise

I hope it will