I'm What Dreams Are Made Of. (A Highschool Jahvie)

Chapter 21- Dont give up on me.

DAHVIES POV-

"N- Nathan?" I stammered as I lightly shaked. Looking up and carefully looking into his eyes.

I was broken.

"Dahvie?" He repeated my childishly, giving me a light smile before the smile faded, fading off into somewhere I can't name.

"You can't ditch Kamryn and the group for me.." I mumbled, my eyes widening. Nobody ever did this to me.. Other than Jayy, who is currently ditching me for some asshole that doesn't even love him. Leaving me broken and in tears. I don't feel the same without him. I feel worthless and revolting. Jayy always made me feel like I actually was something that mattered. It seems like I have a rope tied behind my back, the rope made out of things I lack. I feel like I'm going to fall, wanting to leave this alternative misery that is turning to a nightmare.

"But I can't just leave you Dahvs.." Nathan whined, sadly. His eyes widening and his smile warm and real.

Tears started to form in my eyes. They fell gently, falling down my cheeks as if they depended on it. One by one, more by the second.

"I just need some time alone.." I mumbled lowly, "I love you Nathan, I'll call you later." I said, forcing a warm smile onto my tear covered face. I lightly wrapped around my arms around him, giving him a short hug before quickly letting go.

"O- Okay.." Nathan stuttered, he stood up, getting off my bed and taking a few steps closer to my door before turning around and plastering another smile on his face. "I'll see you later. Things will get better Dahvie, I promise. Love you, stay strong." He said before he faced forward again and shriveling his plastered smile.

I quickly got up from my bed shortly after he left, running stealthily into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. I locked the door, looking to the mirror of horror, looking upon my unperfect features and smudged makeup. More tears flowed through my eyes, almost like a river. Soon enough, tears couldn't flow through my bloodshot eyes. They're was nothing. Just my pathetic whimpering and mumbling. I looked down, looking at a drawer I didn't want to open. It seems like the only option now. Jayy doesn't even care, he wouldn't even try to care if I did. Whatever we had meant nothing to me. My shattered heart and broken mind seems as if it will never get fixed. I don't have anyone, other than Nathan, who I'm too scared to tell my problems. I don't want to loose him due to my pathetic problems that are unfixable.

Nobody can help how pathetically ugly I look, and how hopeless I may be.

Crying as pathetic as it might, is the only other option. "Lonely at heart, surrounded by people who care. Too alone to try, thinking just to die. I don't know if I should even try. It seems as if my dreams never come true. Like they don't care, happy endings aren't familiar with me.

Drown me in your pathetic in appealing words. Making things worse and making me fall in doubt. There was once an angel I knew, who fell in love with a man who put my heart in two. Who will understand? Who can make a stand?" I wrote that poem just now, filled with my petty emotions that don't matter.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

I stared at the drawer, "Just one." I whispered, reaching for one of the cold handles. I pulled it open, grabbing an old friend I haven't been with for a while. A friend who's been there for me always. A friend I didn't let others throw away for me. I can't believe I let them throw the other away.

I reached and grasped my old friend, feeling it's cold and sharp textures, giving off an unwanted feeling I was avoiding for many months. My wrists suddenly got a tingling feeling, I let my hand win. Taking over the unneeded desire, reaching my soft skin, who's marks have faded.

I placed my razor onto my skin, making a light bloody line, as I winced at the pain. I said one but then it got addicting, I kept on wanting more.

I slashed more, and once more, telling myself 'just one more time' every time I flicked it across my wrist like a credit card. Tears flowed my eyes again as I dropped my blood stained razor onto the floor. Sitting down and putting my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth while crying into my knees.

**END TRIGGER***

I called Nathan on my phone, dialing his number and putting the phone up to my ear, "H- Hello?" I cried, stuttering each second, not being able to sound normal. My eyes filled with salty tears and my whole body shaky.

"DAHVIE!" I heard Nathan yell happily, he then grew silent, "Are you okay?" He asked me curiously. I could tell he was worried.

"Please come over, I just need a good friend right now.." I stuttered, my feelings torn and wanting someone who could care. "please.." I whispered desperately, needing him, needing someone to be there for me to make me feel human, to make me feel special.

A few minutes later he rushed to get over here, coming over with his happy smile, he laid on my bed with me chanting words of good. Pointing out what I'm good at and how happy he is to know me.

"Don't give up on me Dahvs.." Nathan whispered into my ear softly before he snuggled me softly to make me feel protected, like nothing was going to hurt me. I closed my eyes and drifted to a sleep, but for once I had a happy dream.