April 4th

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Haven't written for a while. Things have been okay. Except for two days ago. I was in the kitchen making a sandwich, and I opened the cabinet where the peanut butter was and found my dad's box of kitchen knives. At first, I wasn't going to do anything with it. I just stared at it, with one hand on the jar of Jiffy. Then the gears in my mind began to turn, and before I knew what I was doing, I was picking the lock on it. It didn't take me long to get it open, and when I did I gasped at the beauty that was inside.

I picked the biggest one. It was so sharp, I actually knicked my finger on the tip of it without trying. I was smiling as I walked up to Lily's room. I don't even remember thinking about what I was doing. I just kind of did it.

She was doing homework when I came in. I tried to get her attention, but she was so busy. So I screamed at her, and that got her attention. I don't remember what I was thinking after that; the next thing I remember is being crouched on my sister's bed with the blade pressed to her throat.

If Dad hadn't come back, I'm scared I would've cut her.

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