Little Left of Me

1 / come

Honestly what has come of me?

Daniel Howell, age 18, sits in his AP English class, he slouches in his seat, bored out of his mind. The thoughts replay in his mind, what is coming of him, what is he truly becoming. His arms are wrapped around his small frame as  he stares at the white board ahead. The other students around him were whispering and giggling quietly. Dan heard every little rumour and bit of gossip. Jess cheated on his girlfriend, Mia had sex with Joe and went out with Alfie an hour later. Dan really couldn't give a fuck about what was happening. It was all petty problems.

Then again is he really one to speak?

His stomach rumbled a little and he clenched his jaw, feeling a wave of nausea roll over him. He shifted and lied his head on his desk. The noise around Dan made it worse, the murmurs and giggles, the movement around him. He groaned, the dizziness setting in.

It's been three days.

Three days since his last meal.

The bell rung and Dan grabbed his back, rushing out of the class. He bumped into a few people who gave him dirty looks, but who gives a damn. His boney elbow dug into someone's stomach as he shoved his way through the hallway. That was his first mistake.

It happened quicker than he could've thought.

He was on the floor before he knew it, a crowd had gathered and Charlie stood above him. Now, Dan is taller than Charlie, but with Dan on the floor, Charlie was basically towering over him. Dan was afraid, he'll admit that. He doesn't like fights. He does the best he can to avoid them.

The kick came first, his ribs caught fire and pain flared through him. Dan grabbed Charlie's leg, tripping him. The pain that shot through him made Dan double over as he tried to stand. A punch to the face is what came next, it didn't hurt this time, the adrenaline numbed the pain and he felt anger rush through him. He punched Charlie back, feeling his frail bones ache as he hit his jaw. That was his second mistake.

Dan's hair was tugged, pulling him down, Charlie brought his knee up quickly, jamming it into Dan's ribs again. Charlie let go of his hair and Dan fell to the ground. The crowd laughing and hollering. They cheered Charlie on, some yelling at Dan to get up and beat the shit out of him. Dan lied on the ground, feeling the cold tile against his cheek before pushing himself up onto his knees.

Charlie was standing, looking down at Dan kneeling before him. He sneered, "Faggot! You belong on your knees."

Another kick, sending Dan crashing onto his already bruised spine. Charlie went to step on him, but the school security guards finally arrived, pulling Charlie back. Dan felt someone grab him but he just lied there. He stared at the ceiling as he felt his world become dizzy, tears prickling at his eyes. He felt himself be weightlessly lifted before he blacked out.

~

The room was cold, and smelled of medical supplies. Dan sat on the turquoise bed in the nurses office. They had him and Charlie getting their wounds addressed. Dan more than Charlie. Charlie had a bruise forming on his jaw from when Dan punched him. Dan on the other hand had a cut above his eyebrow and a busted lip. His ribs were probably bruised to tomorrow and his body was on fire.

Charlie was across the room explaining to the security guard what had happened. Charlie didn't care much for school, so there was no lie in his story.

"The faggot tried to shove past me," he stated simply. "He needed to be put in his place"

Dan flinched a little at that. Needed to be put in his place, like the faggot he was. Right. Dan deserved it, he knew he did. Charlie was right, he was just a fat faggot who needed to be put in his place. Except that's not right. Dan isn't fat. He knows that, but what else are you supposed to do when you're constantly being put down. You find the bad in yourself. Anything Dan did was never enough.

The nurse dismissed Dan after he had been cleaned up, a bandage above his eyebrow and a tissue held to his lip. He probably had a black eye to match. He glared at Charlie as he walked past him to the door. He left the office and headed to the school entrance. The school day wasn't over but Dan was. Over school. Over Charlie. Over his disorders. Over himself.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and pushed open the door. The walk home was a long one, for he normally rode the bus. Dan tried to enjoy it. Of course he couldn't.

The thought on his mind was how many calories he could drop in this run home. He slipped the other strap of his bag on his shoulder and walked to the end of school property. From there he looked around a little, no one else was around seeing as it was the middle of a school day. His school was in a small isolated part of town, there were small houses and apartments around, but they were ways away from the city. He walked slowly to the edge of the street, sighing as he took in a breath.

Dan began his run. He was tired and dizzy, but he needed this, needed to lose these calories. His body was slowly shutting down with each step. If he had been normal he could notice the nice cloudy sky, or the way the wind was blowing causing the trees to shake. The beautiful noises and sights of a nice autumn day. The sun bringing just enough warmth, the small squirrels scurrying up their trees.

All Dan could think was one thing.

Thinner.

Thinner.

Thinner.

That was his third mistake.