It's Not Living Without You (Desus)

Chapter One

Note: Hello Everyone! This is the first Fanfiction I ever wrote. My writing has improved a lot since I first posted this, so I've been slowly editing it to make it better.

This fic was originally posted on AO3.

Enjoy!

Daryl stared up at the canopy of trees above him. The fire that he had started a few hours ago had died down, and it was beginning to get cold. He didn't mind. Feeling cold was better than feeling nothing.

He had taken to sleeping outside the walls of Alexandria. It felt too crowded inside the walls, too peaceful, too.. Normal. And he was anything but normal.

Sleeping outside the walls... good idea? Probably not. Especially with all the walkers, and Negan's men still searching for him. But he could not bear the looks of pity that were cast on him from inside the walls, the looks of pain that his friends, no, family, had given him.

Daryl lay there, guilt practically radiating off of him. He felt so damn guilty, and the nightmares continued to replay themselves over and over in his mind.

"You Killed Him!" Maggie screeched.

"I know" Daryl whispered. "I know.."

He leaned against a tree for support, feeling dizzy.

Maggie took a step closer to him.

"It should have been you, Daryl. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU! HES GONE, FOREVER, AND YOU CAN NEVER BE HALF THE MAN HE WAS!"

Daryl sank against the tree trunk.

"I know" Was all he could whisper. "I know"

Daryl closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Maggie had never told him that. But he almost wished she would. Her acceptance towards him was almost worse than if she had been angry.

The sun was beginning to come up from below the horizon, and he knew that he should get back inside the walls before anyone noticed his absence.

He pushed himself to his feet and groaned, cracking his back.One would think that he'd be used to sleeping on the ground by now, but he continued to wake up feeling stiff every morning.

Daryl climbed over the walls, and promptly ran into Rick. Damn his luck.

Rick narrowed his eyes, regarding Daryl with a somewhat annoyed expression.

"Daryl. What were you doing outside the walls so early?" He asked.

"Huntin." Daryl grunted.

It wasn't technically a lie, and he didn't want Rick to know he had been sleeping outside the walls. He wouldn't understand, and he would no doubt be angry if he ever found out.

Rick looked skeptical, but didn't say say anything more about the matter.

"So listen," He began, changing the subject, "I was actually coming to look for you. Michonne and I were going to go on a run today. We need stuff for the saviors, but the East wall is starting to collapse. We need to stay back and work on a solution. I need you to go on the run instead."

Daryl nodded.

"Sure. With who?"

Rick hesitated.

"Jesus."

"No."

Daryl glared at Rick, disgusted he would even suggest such a thing.

"Please." Rick begged. "I need you to do this."

Daryl crossed his arms, drawing himself to his full height.

"No. He's a Prick. I'll go with Aaron like usual."

Rick shook his head, annoyed.

"Aaron's on guard duty, and I want you to be able to trust Jesus more. You two will work well together."

Daryl was about to bite out an insult, but before he could reply, a voice interjected.

"Sorry to interrupt" Jesus said smoothly, walking out from behind the corner with a dazzling smile. "But walkers are about to break down the east wall, and woman are fainting in fear."

Rick rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. I know. I'm going to take care of it."

He turned to face Daryl, a 'no nonsense' kind of look on his face.

"Daryl. You're going."

Daryl glared, but Jesus only smiled wider, much to his annoyance.

"What, you aren't ecstatic to be working with yours truly?" He chirped, entirely all too enthusiastic.

"No. Now get in the damn truck." Daryl snarled.

Rick could force him to work with Jesus, but he couldn't force him to like it.

The day would only get worse before it got better.