Black & White

CHAPTER 7: first

The wind blows like crazy and I'm wearing a high waisted shorts and a loose v-neck shirt which Alex had bought for me earlier. I'm still wearing the boots I wore yesterday. "Let's go and ride the roller coaster!" I said like a happy child who is just about to have her first ice cream. Everyone around me is happy and I don't want to screw this up. I need to cheer Alex up.

I drag Alex to his feet to every fun rides I see. And I guess the only thing we have in common is the shooting stall.

"Two guns for the good-looking couple." said the man, who I think is the one managing the stall after Alex lifted a peace sign with his fingers. We exchange glances. "Isn't my girlfriend lovely?" Alex said, smiling at the man, the man responded with a nod. "You got a package, young man." he winks at Alex then turn his head to me before starting to shoot the little soldier toys placed in somewhat shelves. I roll my eyes before I start aiming.

The sun is starting to feel warm against my skin and I feel it slowly burns me. I suddenly start to miss my apartment.

But at least here, I forget about my darkness. Of how scary it is to be alone. But I have to be with someone who is just as sad as I was days ago, I turn to look at Alex.

"I'm too handsome. No need for you to say it," he says, bending over as he rests both his elbows on his lap. I shoot him a glare. "Check that girl out," he said pointing to a red-headed girl; wearing a short, both cheeks of her ass are slightly exposed, her bralette is exposed on either side too. "Your kind?" I ask him, he shakes his head. "Then why the fuck are you asking me to check her out?" I gently hit his arm, "I could walk towards her right now and ask her for a one night stand. Trust me, she'd say yes in a heartbeat." I squint my eyes, daring him to say that it's just a joke, but he didn't say anything. "You're an asshole, Alex," I say, getting to my feet.

The Waterpark is slowly getting filled with people. The sun is also getting even hotter. My breath is starting to feel hot, and my throat desert dry. I'm dying to step out of this place out of the blue. Thinking about people makes me sick.

As I walk, I start to feel numb. I can't feel the ground. I look down and it's still there, the ground is still there. I try to step my right foot hard but I really just can't feel the ground anymore. I try to step again but harder this time, none still. I can't feel anything, not even my feet. I'm starting to feel numb and weightless.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. No, don't come.

I'm breathless. My throat is suddenly in need of water. My surrounding slowly starts to move in motion, even the people are at a halt. Am I in a video? Who hit the pause button? Who the hell put the video in mute? Then they start to move again.

A hand holding me, I clutch to it as if I'm above a skyscraper, afraid I might fall and die here and then. Alex's face is in sight, talking of something. Don't speak. I can't hear nor feel. I really can't. The world in mute and all I can hear is how loud my heart beat is, wanting to come out of its cage as if it's some kind of a wild beast that's been caged for ages.

Hungry for something.

For someone.

Anything.

"Thank God, you're awake!" Alex, sitting on the side of the bed. I feel something different. I scan the place and I realized: We're back again in New York. It's that what makes me feel different.

"I'm sorry for spoiling it, bud," I said. I really am sorry. I'm sick of spoiling precious moments with the people precious to me. I feel so sorry that they have to meet and have me in their lives. "It doesn't matter anymore," To you, it doesn't, "How are you feeling?" I'm feeling sorry. "I'm fine. Don't worry." It's easier to say you're okay than having to explain to others why you're always in the mood to jump off of an Eiffel Tower.

Everything's in black; Alex face is getting close to my mine, his arms are on my both sides. His warm breath blowing against my skin, causing all the electric within me flow everywhere.