Rules Of Attraction (Phan) (Without Trilogy Part III)

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Dan ran down the street, pushing past people and pets, in pain and barely mobile but not outwardly, because outwardly he was fine and fast and maybe panting a little, but the only pain he felt was the pain of knowing that something had changed, but of not being quite sure what. 

He hated this. Not just the fact that he was running (how many calories could be burnt this way? Probably not enough), but the fact of whom he was running from. This wasn't how fights with Phil ended, not usually, not ever. He didn't ever sprint from the house, heart seizing, tears pouring. Not even during the worst ones. They talked. They talked and sorted out everything that was bothering them, and they fixed it. Because that worked.

But how could he possibly explain this to Phil? How could he sit him down with an apology hot chocolate, look him in the eye, and tell him how he felt. Tell him how the stars seemed to glow brighter, the earth seemed to spin faster, and his heart seemed fit to burst whenever he was near. 

How could he explain that he, Dan Howell, cynical prick extraordinaire, was in love with Phil Lester, the kindest, most get-along soul he'd ever met? 

The answer was simple, and it was that he simply couldn't. Because Dan was sure, if he did, nothing would ever be okay again.