Rules Of Attraction (Phan) (Without Trilogy Part III)

4

Can I start you off with some drinks? Water,
iced tea, alcohol?

Water is fine, thank you.

Can I have two iced teas please?

Why would you need two?

Just in case, you know.

Weirdo.

Alright, that'll be out in a second.

So, spill it, Phil. Why did
you bring me here?

Can't I just treat my friends to a nice
dinner?

Friends? I didn't know Billy Joe was
joining us today.

About that...

Your drinks?

Thank you.

So, are you all set to order?

Uh, yeah, I'll have a meatball sub please?

Make that two meatball subs. Sorry I'm
late, Phil. Hi, Dan.

Jade.

Hey J! It's no problem, really.

And, what would you like?

Uh, fries, I guess.

Anything else?

No, thanks.

Thank you!

That will be out in a second.

...

...

Listen, Dan...

So, why this place, of all the ones in
the city? We've never gone here before.

Actually...Jade suggested it. She's been here
a lot longer than us, grew up here, actually,
so she knows basically everywhere to eat ever.

This place has the best fries. I promise.

I hope so. You go to the same college as Phil,
right?

Yeah, but we major in different areas. I'm
getting my BFA in writing, and he's getting his
in, well, acting, obviously.

What kind of things do you write?

Just YA, fiction kind of stuff. Living in New

York, you almost have to do something creative.
Otherwise, what's the point?

Dan works in a bar. He said he never even
dreamed of being famous like we do.

Yeah, well, not all of us are talented like
you two either.

You kidding? You always outdo me when
we practice my script together.

Yeah, right.

I'm sure you're great.

He is, he would just never admit or
believe it.

Sure.

I need to go to the bathroom. Be right
back.

See you.

Bye.

...

Why are you doing this?

What?

You know, acting nice. Is it because
Phil is here?

No, it's because it makes me sad you
would think Phil had to be there for me
to be a decent person. Look, I was an ass
before, and I'm sorry.

Me too.

For what?

I shouldn't have let him drink so much,
especially when I wasn't in such a right state
myself. And...I don't know. I'm just sorry.

Well, don't be. To new friends?

To new friends.

Did I miss a toast?

You seem to have. That's what you get
for being slow.

Hey, a guy's gotta pee when he's gotta pee.
Nothing you should judge me for.

Well, we are.

I see.

Don't look so smug, Phil.

Smug? What would I ever have to be smug
about?

Nothing, that's why you shouldn't look
smug.

Asshole.

Shit butt.

A toast, to asshole and shit butt. Together
forever.

Amen to that.

With no dramatic irony, end scene.