Fuck Boy ➳ S.M.

seventeen

It was around three am

when a cough sounded

waking me from my sleep

a yawn bypassed my lips before I rubbed the sleep from my eyes I pulled my hands down and watched as shawn's eyes slowly fluttered open he looked down at his arms that was securely wrapped in bandages. I saw the confusion settle into his mind for his facial features thus reflected just those emotions his eyebrows were furrowed together his lips were pursed and his eyes scanned every corner of the hospital room, every corner except for the one I sat in.

I quickly stood up rushing to his bedside

"Anna?" Shawn's questioned raspily

"Yes, oh my god." I sighed as I threw my body against his hugging him tightly

"Ow." Shawn grunted wincing at my touch

"Sorry, I'm just glad you're awake you were out for a while." I informed him as I stared at him apathetically

"Really?" Shawn asked as he used his thumb and index finger to wipe his eyes "How long have you been waiting there?"

"I don't know." I shrugged "A while."

"What'd you do sit there and watch me sleep?" Shawn questioned a slight smirk present on his lips "Creep."

"Shut up." I said playfully hitting his shoulder "Actually, I watched those terrible soap operas for a while and occasionally glanced your way before I fell asleep."

"Okay Anna." Shawn laughed, in his tone I could tell he didn't believe me "I'm really glad you were here, it was nice waking up to you."

Shawn latched onto my hand and I smiled

"I still think you're creepy though watching me sleep and everything."

"I didn't watch you sleep," I sighed "You're never gonna let this go are you?"

"Nope." He smiled

I only rolled my eyes

and a small silence

marinated in the air for a few seconds

"Um, you haven't heard anything about Lauren have you?"

"Oh," I cleared my throat "She's um–she's stable according to Dr. Fields."

"Oh." He spoke his whole demeanor changing the grip he held on my hand weakened and his shoulders slightly sunk he stared blankly at his lap.

"She's gonna be okay." I muttered

"But—" Shawn halted as he looked up at me momentarily "What if she's not?"

"Why do you even care?" I blurted, confusion settled into shawns face his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me

"How could you ask me that?"

"How couldn't I?" I replied "After all that shit you did to Lauren you cheated on her and you didn't even care and now all of a sudden you care about her again because she almost died and now you feel responsible well shawn you don't just get to pick and choose when you're going to care about someone!" I yelled

"I'm not picking and choosing." Shawn replied raising his voice

"You really are!" I screamed "What happened to laur was horrible but you trying to pretend like you care is just as worst."

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I care because I still love her!" Shawn yelled back "Is that what you wanted to know Anna? well congratulations that's the fucking reason why."

my heart sank to my stomach as I stared at shawn tears were burning at my eyes

but I guess he was right,

I asked for that

and it was sad to say

but what Austin said

was true

"I never knew someone like you was capable of loving someone other than themselves." I snatched my belongings from it of the chair "But part of me knew this wouldn't last long anyway."

"Anna, what are you talking about?" Shawn questioned "I still want to be with you."

"Are you insane?" I spoke a quick laugh bypassing my lips "How in the fuck do you expect me to be with you after you just told me you still love my best friend."

"But I-I still want you."

"Shawn." I sighed as I placed my hand on the door knob preparing to walk out "I feel like you don't know what you want but I hope you figure it out, without me goodnight Mendes."