Fight to the Finish (BTVS, Book Seven)

chapter 5 - Selfless

Buffy had moved into Willow and Tara's old room because we all knew that it would be impossible for Willow to stay in that room after what happened to Tara, so Willow was moving into Buffy's old room.

Dawn was helping Willow unpack her things. "My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does all the time."

Willow nodded. "Got it."

"Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says," Dawn told her.

Willow looked at her in amusement. "Okay."

"People may say something to you you don't understand," Dawn told her. "Just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying."

Willow laughed. "You know, Dawn, I've been to college before."

Dawn smiled. "People may say something like, 'My protein window closes in an hour'. Just nod and smile. Mm-hmm. Turns out it has something to do with fitness."

Buffy, Xander and I were carrying boxes into the room, talking about Anya.

"Have you talked to her lately?" I asked.

"Not since that night with the Gnarl demon," Xander answered. "And that wasn't exactly the kind of 'how have you been' kind of talk. More of the 'pierce its eye with something sharp' kind of talking. I'm thinking I should call her."

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Buffy told him.

"Hopes?" Xander asked. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male who is giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future."

"Strong, successful males say 'giddy'?" I asked sarcastically.

"I just worry about her, that's all," Xander told us.

"Anya?" Willow asked.

"Yeah," Xander answered. "She seems so sad."

"She should try acting like everybody else more," Dawn told us.

"Apparently it's what all the kids are doing nowadays," I told them.

"Well, I'm not sure I get the sad vibe, but there's definitely a vengeance vibe worth worrying about," Buffy told us.

"Oh, that?" Xander asked. "No, no, I don't worry about that. She was hurt and she just turned back to what she knew when I... you know. But that's not her anymore."

"I hope you're right," Buffy told him.

"Well, she turned that worm guy back before any real damage happened, right?" Xander asked. "It'll just take some time. I really think she's coming around."

•••••••

The next day, I went to the school basement to check on Spike, seeing that he was sitting on the floor with his back to a chain link fence that was separating one area from another, seeming more coherent and mentally stable than he had been recently. "I don't trust what I see anymore. I don't know how to explain it, exactly. It's like I've been seeing things. Dru used to see things, you okay? She'd always be staring up at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers. But she'd see the sky when we were inside and it'd make her so happy. She'd see showers. She'd see stars. Now I see her."

I walked closer. "Spike."

"I'm in trouble, Zoey," Spike told me.

"I can help you," I told him.