Drowning

Four

"Hey... Don't cry! You still have people who love you. I'm one of them. You're not alone. You never will be"

"One of the worst things isn't being unloved", I muttered looking down at my scarred hands,"It's being forgotten"

"Who could ever forget you? I know I can't or never will! I remember that loving, caring person you use to be. She's still in there somewhere. Don't let her go. Don't give up", he whispered the last part.

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."

"Stop it! Stop taking everything I say and turning it into something I can't understand!"

"You will never understand, okay? You will NEVER understand me! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT I WENT THROUGH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!", I was yelling now, not caring who could hear me. I'm tired of thinking that he could understand....that he might understand some day. But I was wrong.

"Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it to end. I know exactly how it feels."

"B-but you said that y-You kept asking what it's like"

"I never said that I didn't know what it felt like. I was asking how you felt about it", he looked down at me with warm eyes. "We can do this. Together, we can help you get better. Just like I did except I had nobody. You're not alone." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. Even if the kisses were less then a second each, it was the best thing anyone has has ever done to me.

And for the first time in years...

I smile