Dear journal,
Sometimes I think I've become too comfortable with sadness. I wear it around my shoulders like a winter coat, to keep me warm. How is it that sorrow has become my comfort, my home? I am afraid to move forward. I am afraid to venture into the uncharted territory that is happiness. Contentment is just within reach. If I stretch my fingers far enough, I could grasp it and pull it close. Instead, I cling to my darkness, because it is familiar to me.
Why am I so afraid of the light.
When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life.
If only I knew. I was so young that I didn't even know what the true meaning of happiness was.
Sometimes, I wish people would just listen. I have a mysterious world inside of my skull but no one seems to care. I long for someone. Someone who will take in the words I say and actually understand me. When I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say,"I know you're not." Why can't anyone realize how painful it is to get out of bed each day, how every single move I make takes immense amounts of energy that I don't have anymore, how I just physically, mentally, intellectually, and emotionally cannot handle waking up and existing anymore.
Sincerely,
Your Mortal enemy
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He holds tight like he understands. Nobody understands me. If someone did.... If anyone did, then they would've saved me before this happened.
"Is that all?", he asks quietly. He hugs me tighter waiting patiently for me to answer. He knew I wanted to say more, but he also knew that it is hard for me to let it out.
"Depression is like a rain cloud. It follows you where ever you go. It's casts a dark shadow over you. You did not choose to have this rain cloud so you are left with the unyielding question... Why did it choose me?"
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The chapters in this book are going to be short.
I hope any of you understands what's going on. If not, then it will be explained later on.
~Mikayla
YOU ARE READING
Drowning
Krótkie Opowiadania"What is depression like?" he whispered. "It's like drowning... Except you can see everyone around you breathing." WARNING: This book WILL have depression and all symptoms of depression. Which includes cutting, thoughts of suicide, etc. So if yo...
