Fleur-de-lis

forgiveness

The picture above is Frank

Vanitas p.o.v.

"Be on your guard before him and obey his voice; do not be rebellious toward him, for he will not pardon your transgression, since My name is in him." I whisper to myself.

Exodus 23:21

I'm on my knees with my hands clasped together over my bed. Praying was weird for me. It always felt like I was talking to two different people; the god carrying a sword of vengeance and woe that I prayed to in front of my parents and the understanding god of mercy I prayed to behind closed doors. I don't know which sat in the throne of supreme divinity but I hoped for the latter and not the former.

I could ask a compassionate god for forgiveness and hope to be answered without consequence.

"Please forgive my transgressions." I finish up before climbing into bed.

[To love is to burn, to be on fire-]

John's p.o.v.

God I felt more relaxed than I have in a long time. I could take on anything right now. I pull my shirt off and get ready for bed. Just as I'm about to climb onto my mattress, there's a tapping at my door.

"Yeah." I call out.

"Johnny. I had a nightmare."

It's Sarah. I rush to open the door for my beloved little sister. She's there in her pajamas, sad look on her face.

"Aww. Do you want to sleep in here tonight?" I ask.

"Mmhm." She nods, rubbing her eyes in exhaustion.

"Come here." I say.

She grabs hold of me with her really cold hands and I pick her up effortlessly. I take her over to my bed and lay her down before pulling the covers over her shoulders. I go to my closet and grab an old futon mattress and an extra sheet to make myself a spot on the floor.

"Johnny?" Sarah whispers.

"Yeah?" I whisper back, laying in the spot I made for myself.

"You and Van used to be friends, right?" She asks.

Paralyzing fear spreads from my heart to the entirety of my being. "Yeah."

"Why did you stop being friends?" She continues.

"We...just drifted apart." I answer.

"It's good that you might be friends again." She congratulates.

I exhale slowly. I didn't want to think about Van right now. I close my eyes and try to forget.

[You are the torrential downpour of all my forbidden longings-]

Vanitas's p.o.v.

My shoes squeak across the tile as I drag my feet through the school hallway. I did my best to avoid John all day today. I couldn't afford another slip. The memory of John forcing me into the shower wall flashes across my mind. I bite my lip and feel a sense of yearning for a moment but I shake it from my head.

What was wrong with me? Having fond memories of abuse. It was hard to control. The line between pain and pleasure was really blurry for me.

It's lunch time, the only time of the school day when teachers don't pay much attention to the students and the torrent of obnoxiousness is at it's strongest point. It was usually when hushed whispers about me and my family could be heard. Sometimes it was bad and the talk of the school and others it was just a conversation starter...it depends on who Azazel pissed off that day.