Love Me, Hate Me, I Don't Care (Bully!America x Bullied!Reader)

What am I doing

Alfred P.O.V.

My eyes follow the small tear that slowly falls from her eye, it trails over the healing skin on her cheek, still slightly red and bruised but its definitely looking better then before. I don't trust myself with words so I let my body acts on its own instincts. I shuffle closer to her and bring a hand up to her face, she flinches slightly and keeps her eyes trained on my hand, momentarily I consider pulling my hand away but by the time I've made up my mind it was already on her bruised cheek. I use my thumb to wipe away the tear then move my hand to wipe away the other one. After I wordlessly pull my hand away she looks down, letting her (H/C) hair cover part of her face.

"I... Sorry I didn't... Lets just get on with the project." Her voice wavers, as if it's taking everything she's got to keep herself together.

I remember a time, not even a few weeks ago, when I would of done anything to hear that waver in her voice. To finally break through the monotonous barrier and watch her break down before me. I remember how over the weeks that desire to see her cry turned into the desire to see just any expression other then the blank one she always had. I remember how after that time in the park, I no longer felt that desire... and yet I continued to hurt her. Now that I've somewhat achieved my goal of seeing her cry I realise... This is not what I wanted.

"Lets just forget the project for now, we have plenty of time anyway" I take the book out of her lap and place it on the bed. I take her wrists and pull both of us to a stand. "Uh you look like you could use some fresh air. Do you need some fresh air? Lets go get some fresh air." I bet I sounded like a right idiot as I attempted to change subject. I keep a loose grip on one of her wrists as I start leading her to the door.

"I'm fine..." She almost whispers behind me, the room is quiet enough so that I can still pick it up. She pulls her (S/T) hand out of my grasp and although I'm not too happy about it I make no attempt to keep a hold on it.

"Are you sure about it? We can just go in the garden if you want... Well actually I wanted to take you to this ice cream place..." I smile sheepishly then take a step towards her. She doesn't flinch which is good, however nor does she scowl or keep her blank expression. I take a quick look at her face, more specifically at her eyes, and she doesn't look upset, but not too happy either, it's such a hard expression to read but one thing makes my heart flutter for sure. Her beautiful (E/C) eyes aren't dull, they aren't glistening either but they are bright, like I've never saw them before, it was like looking into the eyes of a whole new person.

She ended up refusing my offer so we just stayed in her room and thought up of ideas for the presentation. She didn't talk as much as I wished she would but she started to slowly hold longer conversations with me, plus she completely dropped the monotonousness which still sort of makes me giddy inside. I'm not sure how much she trusts me but I'm glad that she no longer feels the need to supress herself in that shell of blankness and coldness around me.

Sadly it did come to the time when I had to leave. She escorted me to the door without speaking a word, although somehow her silence seemed more comfortable then before, it stopped raining a while ago so I didn't need an umbrella.

"...See you in school, Alfred" She said quietly while waving me off, this may sound a little lame but I don't think she's used my name today until now, so it caught me a little of guard and like an idiot I reply with.

"Yeah, Cya loser!" I honestly wanted to slam my head against the concrete.

P.O.V change: (Y/N)

After shutting the door I lean against it and slide down to the floor with a long relieved sigh. Today was strange to say the least, but I don't have time to be thinking about Alfred's weird behaviour since I have my own to consider. I can't believe I dropped my guard around him like that, what if he uses it against me? surely he must have me all figured out now, I just hope he doesn't bring dad up during school. I thought I've gotten over it by now but it seems like I was wrong...

"That was interesting" My moms sugary voice sounds across the hallway. I look up to see her leaning on the wall with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Does he always talk to you like that?"

"No...Maybe" I mutter under my breath, looking back down and not glancing her way when she sat on the floor next to me.

"You seem awfully tense, sweets" She lightly pokes my shoulder then takes a sip of her coffee before continuing. "You know, as a mother I should probably tell you to stay away from guys like him.... But as a woman..." She cut herself off and stared into her cup for a few seconds. "Your father was no different when he was young..." She said it so quietly that I almost missed it. She suddenly snapped out of it and sent me a warm smile. "Just watch out for yourself"

Just as I expected. My mom isn't the best at all of this mushy talk, even more so since dad died. I watch her leave back upstairs, probably to overwork herself again. I also leave to my room once she's gone.

Almost as soon as I walk in and shut the door, I flop onto the bed face down and start seriously considering what I should do next. Alfred saw me with my guard down, what will he think of me if I go back to the cold façade? He knows that it isn't real, so what's the point?

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my phone buzzing in my pocket. I take it out and answer without really looking at who's calling.

"(N/N)?"

"Oh hi Kata, why are you calling?"

"Two reasons actually. First, how did your project date with Alfred go?" Somehow her tone took on a bit of passive aggression when mentioning Alfred, even if she did attempt to tease me by calling it a 'date'. "And second, there is a fair coming to town in a few days and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me and Natalia"

"That sounds great, when is it?"

"Don't avoid my first question. Its in three days so we can go after school."

"Deal... and well... It was alright, he was still mean to me but... somehow less then usual"

"That's good I guess?" She sounded unsure. "I don't have to talk to him do I?"

"No no its fine, really"

We spent the next hour or so talking and discussing trivial things. I told her most of what happened today, missing out the part when I cried in front of Alfred, then she started talking about her day. I mostly did the listening since I'm not too talkative to begin with but it was nice to have a normal conversation without constantly being tense about saying the wrong thing.

I just wonder what Alfred will be like from now on.

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Guess what, Happy Birthday to me. I've been on a bit of a birthday-high today so sorry for getting this up so late. I hope you liked it anyway, I tried to focus a little more on the actual feelings in this chapter and I'm honestly improvising at this point. I was hoping this book will have around 20 chapters but at this rate I'm not sure. I don't wanna rush it but I don't wanna drag it either. I need a solid think on this.

Hope you enjoyed.

Baiiiiii~~~