Broken Minds

Chapter 3: The Saddest Tracks Are the Most Lethal

As she sat there on a rather uncomfortable blue doctor's chair she looked at her doctor. She had told him all about what was going wrong in her life and how she felt down all the time. Every so often the doctor would smile or nod a little before writing down a couple of notes on his computer. She must have been talking for about 20 minutes when she stopped. The doctor looked at her and smiled. 

"I don't think you need pills, I feel that if you had a goal in life like getting a job, or do something you enjoy regularly like swimming then that could help out, try it for a bit and if it doesn't work then come for another appointment," he said looking at her and her mother. "Yeah ok," Rebecca said looking back, disappointment in her eyes. When she and her mum walked out she looked up at her. 

"GP's, what a complete waste of time," Rebecca said walking out the door and into the car park. 

"I dunno honey. Maybe that's all you need to do, could just be grief you know." her mum said opening the car door. 

"Yeah whatever." She replied getting into the car and putting her earphones in. 

"Where were you this morning by the way? When I got up you weren't in the house." Her mum said in a worried tone as she started the car. Rebecca sat there in silence all the way to her house. 

She got out the car and went straight upstairs into her room. She turned her laptop on casually listening to her music and looking through her usual sites. 'Strange, I thought Harry would be on by now.' She thought staring at her blank message board. As the hours passed she slowly became more and more worried, the hours passed into days which passed into a week. She got really worried when she saw the news that Tuesday. A boy around her age had been killed by a train and they had only found their body that day. On that day she sat their sobbing into her soft toy again. For days she sat their sobbing, thoughts running through her mind. 'It must have been him, they say the victim was missing since last week. I thought I talked him out of It.' she paused mid-thought before she let out a stifled gasp. 'Maybe I sent him to it, maybe us dating again was too much for him and he just... He just...' she burst into a fit of tears again, she cried herself to sleep that night. When she woke up she looked up out of the window to the overcast sky above. She stared over at the train station, a small tear forming in the corner of her eye. 'What if I was to just slip away right now? Maybe I could jump from a building and end it all, or maybe run in front of a car. True I would have to feel every bone shatter into a million pieces but then all that will remain is calm. Why is it that the only one keeping me sane in this world have to just... Leave me like that?' she walked away from the window and sat down on her bed. 

"That's it, I can't take it anymore!" she shouted running downstairs and into the pouring rain. She stomped all the way to a small area merging with the train tracks and looked at them. 'One small step and I could end it all.' She was about to step on the track when she heard a small cough come from behind her. She turned around to find an old bearded man in rags sitting against some railings. 

"I've seen many of your kind around her miss. They always have some heartfelt story about a loved one or how the world is too tough on them. Day in day out they all come and cry on the tracks. Sometimes they gain enough courage to step onto the line and end it all, sometimes they just cry and walk away. But you missy, you seem like a different type. I can't predict what you will choose." the old man stared at her, a confused expression plastered onto his face. She stood there silently not replying. 

"Now I've told every soul under the sun not to do it. I wake up every morning and look at those rails, thinking I could end it right now. I've seen more people end their lives than I can care to count. But you know why I haven't stepped on the line yet to end my misery?" he said to her, his eyes staring into her soul. She shook her head looking deep into his eyes. "Because every damn day I live my life hoping for things to get better. I tell myself, stuff must get better surely. Yet it never does, it just seems to get worse." he said looking down, sorrow filling his eyes. He looked back up at her. 

"30 years. 30 damn Years I've sat here hoping for everything to get better. That is a long time to wish for something, yet I keep sitting here wishing some more. I could say don't do it, you're too young. But it's up to everyone if they want to end it, or wish for things to get better. Everyone has someone that loves them, everyone makes an impact on other people's lives no matter how big or small, people matter to other people in life. I've sat here and seen too many people die, so much so is that I've grown numb to the sight of death. It's a scary thought but it's true. So if you want to end it, go ahead, but you'll affect more than just your own life." he said looking at her.

She turned back to the track and sighed. Maybe he was right, maybe she would affect too many people. She sighed as she step forward hearing an oncoming train. She closed her eyes, hearing the train come closer. She felt a strong hand grab her and pull her away, she felt the breeze from the train brush over her face. As the wind blew past she opened her eyes and turned around, a tear formed in her eye as she stared at her saviours face. 

"What were you thinking?" He shouted at her. "Was you planning to get yourself killed? If you were planning to leave me you could of said rather than do this" He said tears streaming constantly down his face. 

"I... I thought you were dead though, I watched the news and it said someone your age jumped onto the train tracks and died. And since the last time I saw you was in the forest over a week ago... I thought... I thought." She stopped and held him tightly crying into his t-shirt. "I didn't hear from you in over a week, how could you do this to me?" She said still crying and pounding on his chest. 

"I'm sorry, I just needed some time to think. I was busy looking after my mum since my dad's been going in and out of consciousness, but yeah I'm sorry I worried you, I should have messaged you." He replied stroking Rebecca's hair softly, sorrow pouring from his eyes. They stood there holding each other's as they slowly stopped crying. Then from behind them they heard a small cough. 

"Excuse me, as much as I like heart-warming events could you please move along, you stay there much longer and a train could come and run you over." They let go of their embrace. Rebecca looked over at the old man and smiled as she and Harry started walking towards Harry's house talking to each other quietly.

The walk home was quiet and filled with emotion. She felt happy that she had Harry back but still upset at the fact he didn't message her. They walked all the way home, the sun setting on their backs. A single tear formed in Rebecca's eye as she looked back at the setting sun. The words and story of the old man staying in her mind. 

"Hey, what's wrong? Don't cry" Harry said, stopping and looking deep into her eyes. 

"It's just the old man, his story is just sticking in my mind. It's nothing really." She sobbed lightly, hugging Harry before grabbing his hand, continuing to walk. The words sticking in her mind throughout the walk, leaving a small mark on her mind and emotions.