Broken Minds

Chapter 9: Silent Woes

Upon reaching the forest she sat down against a tree, as she slumped her body against it she felt something poking her in the side. She placed her hand in her pocket and removed a crumpled piece of paper. It contained an old dishevelled photo of her and a few of her friends, a time that was a lot happier and she didn't have to worry about who did or didn't like her. She wished she could go back to that time, but even her music wasn't calming her down. She sobbed softly into the picture. Her tears staining the image, washing out the picture. Rebecca wiped away her tears and looked at the photo, the image smudged and barely visible. The world crashing down on her she rested back up against the tree and let her thoughts flow, the memories and feelings all turning to tears. Some memories fading to ash, like she was losing her grip on what had led her to this point in life, the memories of who she was being smudged in her mind just like the photo. She opened her eyes back up when she had ran out of tears, the blurry image of trees and the sun poking through the leaves filling her eyes. She should be happy at life, her parents were together still, she was alive and had no real things to make her life harder. She had good people around her but she felt broken on the inside, like there was no point in life, something was ripped from her. Making her feel hollow, like she was just a shell of a former person. But who really cared, she was the only one who could fix herself. She couldn't count on others for that, no relationship could help build her back up. She had to do it herself, things like that would help, but deep inside only she could find a way to pull her out of her hole.

Rebecca stood up and brushed herself off, looking at the crumpled, tear-filled photo. The picture completely faded, she threw it down and looked at the tree she had been sitting against, the initials of 'R&H' faintly etched on the bark, the bark around it peeling off slowly. She teared up a little, a past memory trying to be remembered but not clear, like a foggy winter's morning. She punched it before walking off, glancing at her phone she saw that it was nearly dinner time. Rebecca sighed and started walking home at a slow pace, sad music playing through her earphones, the sad melodies matching with her walking. She slowly trotted home, the sun setting as she reached the door. 

"Oh Becca, where have you been it's late." Her father asked, his voice sounding slightly raspy as if he had just been crying. She peered around the room to see her mum ignoring everything around her as she just washed sat there reading her magazine. 

"Ugh, woods" Rebecca grunted, walking upstairs, dragging herself up each step.

"Don't you want any dinner?" Her dad shouted up softly. Rebecca didn't feel in the mood to talk at all, she barely managed to grunt a no before slouching on her bed, her eyes welling up again and she pressed her face deep into her pillow, her music still playing loudly in her eyes, blocking out the sound of her own crying.

From downstairs she heard the muffled voices of her parents. She stopped her music in time to hear her mother scream: 

"We need to tell her at some point!" The sound of loud footsteps climbing up the stairs, closer to her room. At that moment her mother burst through the door. 

"Rebecca, your father and I are having a divorce...." Rebecca stared at her mother's lips as she talked, but she heard no noise, she had given up caring, She sat there and watched as her mother tried speaking, but no meaning came through to her, she just stared blankly. After a while she reached around and grabbed her earphones and placed them out, drowning out the meaningless words spewing from her mother. She laid down, forgetting the world around her, stuck deep inside her own mind, the last shred of care falling from her eyes, She closed her eyes as the lyrics engulfed her into a deep sleep, She tried to remember what mess had happened up until now, but no image showed in her dreams, no words could be heard, no emotion could be felt. She just closed her eyes and imagined herself hovering over her sleeping body, her mother still talking to her. Oblivious to her sleeping daughter next to her as she broke down, The image of Mark lying in bed, his eyes wide open and red, the words "why" showing on his lips over and over again. She even saw Harry, his fists balled up as he knelt over his father's hospital bed as the doctors patted his back, the heart monitor flat-lining as he sat there, speechless. Rebecca's disembodied soul just floating past all these scenes, no emotion coming from anything.

When she woke up she did her usual morning routine and stared at herself in the mirror, her iris of her eyes showing them to be nearly black instead of her usual careless, bright brown eyes. Rebecca just stood there emotionless, staring back into her own eyes. She washed her face and dragged herself down the stairs, grabbing a bowl of cereal and sitting down on the countertop. Dipping her hand in the bowl every so often and grabbing some, munching down on it occasionally. Everything just felt so slowed down to her. Her brain playing the same kind of images over and over again, the flashing of nooses, knives... Just dark images flashing in her brain, she just kept silent as they passed, the nonstop images had been showing since she woke up.

Once she had finished eating her cereal she just walked out the house, No words or thoughts happened she just walked out. She didn't even put any music on she just started walking, She closed her eyes as she let her feet carry her to anywhere, as if life had no meaning to her. Then as a moment past she suddenly realised something, as if a light had been turned on inside of her brain, her conflicting thoughts suddenly became clear as if the clouds had parted to show the bright summer sun. She smiled, as all the good memories of Harry showed, she saw his face in front of her. She imagined him running towards her, she let him. He was shouting but she couldn't hear.. She just stood there and smiled. She saw him scream louder and louder as he ran closer, his plea shattering her thoughts. He was actually in front of her running to her. She looked to the left of her, fear creeping over her as she saw what he was shouting about. She just looked back at Harry, her body tensed up. She couldn't move even if she wanted to. Rebecca just stood there and let it happen, she closed her eyes and let the pain crash into her. She was happy, she didn't fear death. But there was no light she could see, no pain. It was just nothing. She opened her eyes to see Harry standing over her, a tear welled up in her eyes as she didn't hear him out, give him another chance to.. Well to save her.

Scenes passed by through her blurred vision. Harry mouthing the words 'hold on' from time to time she felt the cold concrete underneath her neck and a sharp pain down her back. Eventually, she saw the image of Mark as well. The last thing she remembered before she blacked out was her reaching out her hand, both Mark and Harry reach out theirs, trying to grab hers, but she felt herself falling into the dark void, it looked bottomless. But she had stopped being scared of the unknown. She just let herself fall down into the void. It stripping her of all her pain and worries, of all memories and worries. All images disappeared. All that was left was the last image of both Harry and Mark reaching out for her. But she had fallen too deep into the void to reach back out...