TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 6.

" No! No! Not like that".  

A low, deep baritone voice spoke firmly from the row of front seats in the auditorium and I sighed deeply with frustration once again.

"Amanda is a cool, confident woman, who knows, not only  her own mind but really believes that she knows the minds of everyone else around her also".  
The voice went on.

I moved impatiently from foot to foot and could feel Marcus glaring hard beside me.

The deep baritone continued, however:

" Gwen....you must convey this to your audience....... otherwise they won't believe you and will not have any amount of sympathy for Amanda.  Do I make myself clear?".  

I took in another deep breath and very slightly nodded my head.

This was about the hundredth time I had been told this by Mr. Alan Rickman in the past month and curtain up was just over a week away.
If I hadn't got the character of Amanda right by now, well god help me.
Trouble was, I thought I had pretty much got her sussed and had been fairly happy in the way I'd been portraying her.
That was until Alan Rickman arrived on the scene and changed my whole perception of her.

"Now then. Start again. Be more forthright in this scene. She's fighting to save the relationship.................she's terrified of losing Roger, but she's not going to beg or plead for him. She needs to be strong willed for this. You need to get the audience behind her. Think outside your character...............draw them in".  
Alan was quite firm with his words, but I was more than confident that I knew the character of Amanda a lot better than he did!  
And that's what frustrated me more than anything.

I took a sideways glance at Marcus, who was stood on the stage beside me and rolled my eyes at him. He gave a sly smile back and then began his lines once again to which I was to reply to.

I'd only said not more than half a dozen words when Alan put his hand up and came towards the front of the stage to stop me once again.

"Gwen, Gwen..........what have I just told you. Your whole life is about to come crashing down around you................your about to lose the one thing that ever mattered to you...........fight for him, don't plead, believe in your own ability to regain his love for you".    Alan said using his hands to emphases certain words.

Then he lent on the stage and placed his large hands on the floor in front of my feet, and looking up at me, his eyes really staring,  he said gently:

"Draw on your own experiences of love if you must, as long as it helps". 

This caused a splutter of laughter from Beth, who was stood on the stage behind me.
I turned quickly around to look at her and scowled, only to see her looking at Marcus and still laughing she then said loudly:

"Well..... that's a laugh........what experience as she ever had! Little Miss. Frigid". 

I stared at her unable to believe that she could say such a thing, and in front of everyone too.
A large lump formed in my throat.
I knew that she was right, partly in what she had said. I didn't have any experience, not with men and falling in love,  but I refused to believe that I was in fact frigid.

It was just that I hadn't found anyone that really interested me enough.

Although, thinking about it........ there was someone.
Someone who did interest me very much indeed. Someone very special.......................but he lived so far away and anyway, I wouldn't tell her about him, nor anyone else.

I swallowed hard, trying to rid my throat of the tightness within.
There was no way that I would ever let the likes of Beth bring me to tears, not like this. So taking a deep breath I turned away from her and looked up at Marcus.