TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 47.

I suddenly began to feel quite sick to my stomach.
No one had mentioned to me that there would be a third party coming with us and seeing her beautiful smiling face looking back at me, it was now most evidently clear that she had in fact won both the affection and the love of the one person who I had now come to absolutely adore above all others.
I tried to smile back at her, really I did but it was almost impossible to feel anything other than vast disappointment and total hurt and heartbreak at this saddest of outcomes.

Why had this had to happen like this?
Of all the nights to rub my nose into things it had to be tonight.
As if I wasn't feeling bad enough already!
Again Silva patted the seat beside her and again I hesitated.
How on earth was I supposed to play gooseberry like this. It was cruelty beyond compare.
Maybe I should just fake suddenly being taken ill. A headache or something would suffice, then I wouldn't have to even get into the damned car!
I wouldn't have to go.
Anyway I couldn't go. Not now. Not after seeing her sat there, still patting at the seat, urging me to get in beside her.
I mean how could I?
So this fake headache thing had to work right? after all I am allegedly supposed to be an actress! It should be easy for me to be able to draw on all the knowledge I had learnt from acting so far, to give my best performance yet!
It would also mean though, that I would be giving up a most prestigious evening out. An event that I had been desperately looking forward to, ever since I had been asked to go. An evening full of glitz and glamour, where I would feel like a proper actress for the first time ever!
Although I never really thought I actually craved such things as this, it hadn't stopped me wondering what in fact it was all about.
I had become intreguid by the whole movie scene, especially this type of thing and I was immensely curious about it.
I was also very excited about spending the evening with Alan Rickman. It had been wonderful, although also, somewhat scary to have been actually invited to the event by him in the first place! Seems that now, I wasn't the only one!

The whole thing had now become completely overshadowed by the presence of this over friendly, disgustingly beautiful, girlfriend of Alan's, whose company I had little or no interest in being with any longer than I needed to be.
Of course it wasn't her fault that I didn't like her. She had done absolutely nothing to me, except be with Alan. But of course she would know nothing of that!
No, I had convinced myself that I was suddenly going to invent a migraine. It had been coming on all day and now it had become suddenly very serious and I needed to hide myself away in a darkened room. It was the only way to get rid of it and going somewhere that would be full of  bright, flashing lights, hoardes of people, noise and a big screen was definitely not the place to be when you have a severe migraine.
The truth was however, that I would be spending the entire evening alone. The typically sad, all dressed up and knowhere to go sort of person who would just go back to her flat, get undressed, take off all this wonderful makeup and put a dressing gown on. Maybe there was an episode of Eastenders or something to watch on the t.v. I was also pretty sure I'd got a bar of unopened chocolate in the cupboard to eat as well and there was definitely some wine left over from before. It hadn't all been drunk, I was absolutely sure about that!
So that's it.
My sad and lonely evening was sorted.
I mean, anything was bound to be better than spending the whole time at this premier, torturing myself by watching Alan with Silva flaunting themselves in front of me and breaking my heart with every little look they would give one another, every little word that was uttered and every single touch they exchanged.

This was probably what Alan had meant, about needing to talk over things with me. Well, the fact of the matter was that he wasn't about to speak to me about any of it. He had actually copped out and was now just letting the very presence of Silva being here with him do the actual talking.
And I had to admit that it was coming through absolutely loud and very clear indeed!