TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 19.

I was now biting hard at my bottom lip waiting for him to answer, but in typical Alan Rickman like style, he took his time.
Serious had lost all  interest in us, now that all the treats had disappeared and had mooched off to rejoin his friends on the other side of the field. With him gone it was now strangely very quiet.

Alan took in a breath.

"Sometimes, when a script presents itself to you, there may be about half a dozen things in it that you are either not keen on doing or you may want to change". 

I nodded slowly at him.
He then looked down at his feet.

"I'm presuming here that you don't want to do the sex scenes with me".  He said slowly.

I gulped at his preconception of the facts.

"Well......".   He said straightening to his full height,   "I can quite clearly understand that. Although I happen to believe that its an integral part of the story and to be honest with you I thought the days of me playing those sort of parts had long long since gone". 

He then began to laugh.

I stared at him.
I wondered why he had said that.
To me he was an extremely attractive man be it that he was of a slightly mature age but I thought the casting of him playing Jonathan Saunders was absolutely perfect.
In fact I was pretty annoyed with myself for not realising that fact in the first place.

"You'd be great for the part".   I found myself saying.

"Really?".  He said, giving me a side wards glance,  "Because you don't have to do it you know, given our past indifferences". 

I took in a deep breath and then gave him a slight smile.

"I know".  I shrugged.  "But.....well....we would only be acting wouldn't we,  and...........I do so want to be an actress". 

Alan suddenly reached out and put a hand gently onto my shoulder.

"I will endeavour to make it as less of an ordeal for you as I possibly can. Maybe I can even suggest a stand in put in place for the more sexual scenes.
I don't want to put you off acting all together and traumatise you forever". 

I smiled, more to myself than at him.
He was undoubtedly worried that acting out explicit sexual scenes with him would somehow put me off, when in fact the opposite was true.

No, my real worry was that I would start to develop even stronger feelings for him than I already have and my intention in telling him of my fears for this was beginning to become impossible for me to say.

"Look".  He suddenly said, relieving his hand from off my shoulder and looking at his watch, that I noticed that he wore  on his left wrist.

"I have to go".  He said.

I hadn't really heard him though, as I was still looking at his hand, also noticing that he wasn't wearing any sort of a ring, more especially, a wedding ring.

"Thank you for your company today".  He went on.

I looked up at his face, almost not wanting to believe that he was actually leaving". 

"Do you have to?".  I asked, my voice a mere squeak.

Alan tilted his head to one side, then gave a little smile.

"Yes, I have to".  He answered gently, with a nod of his head.

Suddenly, and quite by surprise I felt a large lump form deep inside my throat and tears began to prick at my eyes.
I hurriedly attempted to blink them away and wondered where they were coming from.