TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 16.

With pen in hand and leaning over the kitchen work top, I pondered what to write on the piece of scrappy paper before me.
I wanted to leave a note for my sleeping flat mate to let him know that I would be away for a few days.
I looked up at the kitchen clock. It was 10 minutes to 7 and I defiantly didn't want to be late.
Quickly I scribbled down, "Gone to parents, back in a few days, love you XX
Then I hauled my heavy hodall onto my shoulder and quickly and quietly made my exit.

I was very excited about seeing my parents, but also extremely anxious about the journey ahead of me.
I gave a huge sigh as I struggled down the stairs with my over packed bag.
Why did I agree to having a lift with Alan?
This was complete and utter madness and totally unbelievable.
Although I knew he wouldn't be actually driving me to my parents, I was still really nervous.
At least I knew his driver Michael and I had got on really well with him so there shouldn't be any awkward silences.
In fact it would be really quite nice to see Alan's personal driver again.

Unlocking the door and stepping out onto the street, I breathed in the cool morning air. Then looking down the road I could see the post box from where I would be picked up from. I was relieved to see that there wasn't a car there waiting.
I locked the door and looked up at the window above me, where Marcus was still in bed sleeping. A sudden feeling of guilt washed over me as I thought about the hurried, scribbled piece of paper I had left for him.
This was quite unlike me. Usually I like to tell Marcus in plenty of time, of my plans and for me to just go off like this would probably surprise him no end.

I walked over to the post box and set my hodall down on the pavement. The street was so deserted. It was never very busy anyway, but the silence surrounding me at this precise moment was giving me a distinct feeling of impending doom.

I breathed in deeply.
It would be alright, I was sure of it. Quite sure, in fact.
But suddenly my heart missed a thousand beats as I heard the sound of a vehicle approaching.
I looked up to see a goods van and not the chauffeur driven Limousine I had been expecting.
I almost sighed in relief as the van went by with its driver looking at me curiously and probably wondering why I was standing beside a post box so early in the morning.
It was a strange place to stand and to be brutally honest I was wondering what I was doing here myself.
I gave the driver a weak sort of smile as he drove by but he didn't really acknowledge it, more than likely thought that I had been thrown out of some place, or worse a hooker waiting for her pimp to take her home.
Oh God, I hope he didn't think the latter!

I took in a deep breath and continued to look down the road. No sign of any other vehicle.
I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket and glanced down at myself. Skinny jeans, small heeled ankle boots, baggy grey jumper with a flower pattern all over it. Hardly the dress code of a hooker, even on her day off, and I wasn't dressed to impress either.
At the end of the day I was visiting my parents and they just wanted to see me no matter how I was dressed. And as for my very special someone................ well he wouldn't even notice what I'd put on or even care what I looked like.
That's what I loved about him though.
He never ever judged me.

Now, as for Alan, well I suspected that appearance's meant everything to him. He just seemed the sort of person who wanted people to look their very best at every opportunity.
Well tough. I thought to myself.
I was going to the countryside where it's usually colder, muddier and almost certainly wetter. Being dressed up would be foolish and totally impractical.

I crossed my arms defiantly over my chest.
Who did he think he was? Trying to change me!
Then I shook my head in disbelief at myself.
What was I doing?
He's never told me how to dress, not once. In fact it was me putting these thoughts into my own stupid head.
That's what I did where Alan was concerned.
I seemed to be always doing this. Making out I knew exactly what was going through his mind and in reality I knew nothing at all.