A Need to Suffer

Theories of Emotion

As promised, I'm able to finally deliver both the audio and the new chapter at the same time! :P The newest chapter: https://app.box.com/s/52yo6wxctoz387j8lf762t6c9lbfvubh

I will add this link to the master list as well. Let me know what you guys think! Comments have been a bit light, so I'm wondering how many of you guys out there are still reading my ramblings ;)

Chapter Thirty

Theories of Emotion

Ramsay let go a small whimper as Sansa’s lips burned all doubt away from him leaving his mind to reel over her final words, “Forever mine.” He felt a wash of euphoria and despair to take in that statement. Ramsay wanted nothing more now than to be truly hers, but to relinquish all of who he was to her meant the utter loss of the vestiges of his former self that a part of Ramsay still subconsciously clung to. It was becoming apparent that this sacrifice was far costlier than Ramsay had originally contemplated. He wasn’t just offering Sansa his fealty anymore, he was surrendering his heart.

Such a prospect had never been contemplated by Ramsay or even remotely offered to anyone before; Ramsay had decided long ago to shut down any avenues for another to touch a part of him where he could be made vulnerable; he had learned through bitter experience that to give any part of himself to anyone typically equated to pain and rejection. Solid walls were built to fortify against cracks that would reveal his personal failings to others and himself, but Sansa had upset the scales of balance breaking the veil and veneer he’d meticulously placed and ultimately throwing Ramsay into a tumultuous sea of mystification by every choice with him that she elected to take.

Sansa made Ramsay feel needy and weak, but at the same time what she gave him in return fulfilled a yearning that Ramsay had never dreamed could be tapped into let alone offered to him. These unbidden emotions left Ramsay to feel tattered and frail like a rent flag on a battle field waiting to be claimed. And claimed Ramsay was ready to be folding to Sansa’s affections to demurely collapse into the waters before her and bask in the kisses she trailed down his chin and along the length of his neck.

Electrified by Sansa’s handling, Ramsay found his eyes closing as she pulled his body possessively to her. Remotely, Ramsay wondered what this sudden sensual aggressiveness would manifest into, but another part of him found it hard to care as long as she kept pouring this level of passion onto him. Igniting to her ministrations like dry leaves in a raging fire, Ramsay did not question that he was wholly hers now, Sansa Stark’s captivated lover and willing prisoner.

Sansa held all power over him, and she could do as she willed regardless of his own wants and desires, much as Ramsay had done with Theon. Ramsay was more than thankful Sansa held far more compassion for him than he had ever spared the wretched Iron Borne prince. He knew Sansa cared for him now, yet one of the biggest hurdles Ramsay still tackled was learning to let go of his cropping fear that Sansa would one day reject and replace him. It was even harder for Ramsay to learn to trust that she no longer wished to ‘harm’ him even though she easily proclaimed that she would still physically punish him for any perceived transgression. Ramsay’s thoughts lingered momentarily on that ugly business of vowed corporal punishment still to come and frowned. Much to his chagrin, Ramsay was begrudgingly becoming all too well indoctrinated to facing and acquiescing to such humiliations. His life could become far less complicated, Ramsay knew, if he could just avoid finding himself in such uncomfortably painful predicaments by accepting Sansa’s relationship terms, (and learning to control his temper!)

Ramsay sighed placing these musings to the back of his mind to avoid ruminating on them further. That was an inevitable future to dwell on later, but for now, he preferred to surrender to the pleasure of Sansa guiding him backwards across the expanse of the bathtub with hungry kisses. Ramsay collided powerfully into the headboard with a grunt settling against it while Sansa’s lips pulsed in a tight suction at the base of his neck and collarbone. Ramsay’s eyes fluttered upward as he groaned to the sensation of her soft mouth latching to his skin. Sansa pulled away with an audible snap, and Ramsay peered down with a smirk to see the mark she’d left upon him in the shape of a circular bruise. Sansa’s lips were flush and swollen from her efforts, and her stare levied a demand on him that Ramsay wasn’t sure he could fulfill, but he was more than willing to try.