(Hiatus) Where is my freak? [ L X Reader ]

Chapter 10

[TRIGGER WARNING]

HOW COULD YOU?!

The one who killed L; my roommate, my partner, my lover, my first true love, my mentor, your mentor, whom you success after. He is dead because of the man you are talking to.

NATE RIVERS! Our talks, the typical stereotypical 3 am conversations, yet he does this!

HOW COULD HE, HOW COULD YOU NATE, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!!

As soon as i heard that, i ran and ran and ran some more out of this place, out the HQ.

Away from Near.

Away from the SPK.

Away from light's annoying, conceded, ignorant 'know-it-all'  voice and his narcissistic ways and ideas.

Away from kira.

I ran through the busy streets, passing and pushing people out of the way. All of them had a normal vibe about them.

I'll never have that!

A life that is considered 'normal'. - As i could never be considered 'normal'.

[y/n] [L/n]. [Alias]. [Age]. [DOB]. Born in the lost cities of [country to travel to Whammy's after torture. escaping the mentally draining, going insane and, hiding and thriving in the closed off spaces where i am all alone.  Where all the metal scratched my throat...but no, i got to scared to drag the blade cross my neck. My life is weird  and I'm a freak and unloved and unwanted yet. I. Cannot. Bring. Myself. TO. DO. IT. 

To end it all is all i want.

But i still can't.

I've lost it all.

l, Watari, BB, My sanity, now near. The boy i have known all my life. Near, oh near, sometimes i begin to think if you were just another hurdle to get over L. i wish it wasn't true, but i know it is. I have never thought of you like this, as soon as L died i saw the appeal. 

As i was |running| and |running| and |running|. While i was deep in thought, i hadn't realized that i was home. No, not home. My apartment. My home is dead and gone, as when Kira struck it slowly crumbled away, tiny bit by bit until it got tired and sent a bullet which ricochet on my hopes and dreams and shattered it into a million pieces taking lives with it. After that i was never the same...never the same again.

Lost in thought...again! I unlocked the door, opened it and headed upstairs- clutching the wooden banister with each step. Although when i got to the top and let go, there was a familiar remorseful feeling, which pained my heart. Beating still, but it sunk like a sinking boat in the middle of a stormy sea. Though i have been sinking in a storm for a while now.

[Skip over now if triggered]

I headed into my bedroom, reached to the top of my wardrobe (closet) to grab a rope. Untangling it, i held it securely in my shaking hands. Reaching up to the ceiling. I grabbed a chair from the corner of the room, sat it underneath the now hanging rope. 

My shaking hands held onto it with both clutching onto the wooden chair. Looping it and tying the knot, lacing it around my head, tightening it around my delicate neck.

A sound of an engine came closer.

Nate. No i refuse, I'm already gone.

As i tightened it as much as it needed, i stepped forwards falling to the ground but stopping. What felt like a coiling snake wrapping around my neck, squeezing and squeezing. My chest became tight and painful, excruciating pain was flaring. my hands lunged to the rope, reflexes kicking in trying to untie though failing.

Footsteps padded on the staircase.

No!

I need this!

Let me go, be with L, please...

He opened the door. His black shaggy hair shadowing his pale face, though his black orbs shined through, surrounded by his black eyes bag clouding his eyes. His smile swapping to a frown. 

The lack of oxygen must be making me hallucinate.

It.

Looks.

Like.

L. 

[Skip to here]

he runs up to me, pulls a pocket-knife out of his back jean pocket, slicing the rope bounding my neck, catching my falling body. His arms wrapped around my waist, bringing his face to mine, forehead against forehead.

My croaky heaving voice called out,

"Lawliet?"

"Yeah, baby, it's me." He uncoiled one arm from my waist towards my face, cupping it and smearing the falling tears on my cheeks.

"Am i dreaming?"

"No, baby, I'm right here. I'm not going to leave."

"Ever?"

"Ever." He promiced, tears pooling in both of our eyes now.

He's here...