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- unedited
Damon had taken her ring. Foster could feel it's absence when she opened her eyes. Her curtains were pulled shut, no light from the outside was getting in and Foster couldn't keep her eyes open. How could she lose control like that? Something was gnawing on her insides and she remembered hearing Rebekah's voice. She knew she was hallucinating, if she had, Rebekah's voice wouldn't have been so angry. It would have been soft and something Foster didn't deserve. There was a lamp on in the corner and Foster thought she didn't deserve even that. She should be in darkness; she should be in the cell. A part of her, a large majority, wishes they would allow her to collapse into herself. The guilt was gnawing at her; she could feel it in her throat.
The doorbell was ringing and Foster waited to hear Damon or Stefan answer it. When nothing came and it rang one more time, Foster groaned as she sat up and she sped downstairs, taking stops in the shadows to soothe the burns from the sunlight. She took a deep breath before speeding to the door, picking up the envelopes after some confusion and speeding back to her room. Foster let out a sigh of relief and sat on her bed. Salvatore Family was written in calligraphy.
"Please join the Mikaelson Family..." Foster read silently before putting the invitation into its original fold and putting it aside. Her phone read 12:17 in the afternoon before she dialed her brother's number. "Mail call," she greeted. Foster cringed at the sound of her voice. She cleared her throat and caught sight of a water bottle on her nightstand.
"Elena got the same thing," Damon said. "How are you feeling, Foster?"
"I'm fine," she lied. "I'm missing my ring."
She heard him sigh. "I thought it was best. You know, in case you woke up hungry."
"Yeah, it was. I'm not hungry though." Another lie. "When are you and Stefan coming back? Are we going to this... ball?"
"Do you think it's okay for you to go?" She could tell he was holding himself back from outwardly forbidding her to go. Foster thought about sitting in her room all day, probably read a couple books and wallow in the dark, but then again, that wouldn't help. It would only delay. She thought about how every event in this town had bloodshed and she'd hate herself even more if she wasn't there with her friends.
"I'm okay." The third, and not last, she told of the day.
The fourth lie she told was to herself. Foster was looking through all of her dresses when she realized she was afraid. Afraid for everyone else, she told herself and that was the lie. She wasn't, not really. She was afraid for herself. It was selfish, she thought, and she didn't want to admit it. What if I am this monster? During the summer with Klaus and Stefan, she killed and she killed even when she was wasn't forced. Throughout her too long life, she's taken so many. Was she still one of the good guys and was there any such thing as being a good guy? Being good was choice, made by yourself or by others. No one is naturally a monster or naturally good. Foster made a choice when she first spilled blood. Damon used to be so angry at Stefan for taking his choice away and she used to be a little jealous of that.
