Submissive cravings

Chapter 15

~JAIME’S POV~

I was so right; the little rebel looked unbelievably hot with the suit on. And the tie… God, it flooded my mind with so many inappropriate images… However, Vic wasn’t in the mood to hear me praise his looks so I just stay quiet.

One hour had passed since I picked up Vic from that stupid Easter family dinner. I wasn’t usually disrespectful towards old people, I mean, I loved my parents and grandparents with my whole heart; yet, I had always thought that being an older relative wasn’t a degree that people could use so as to justify their mean or cruel behavior towards the younger ones. And damn they acted like shits with Vic; discriminating him for not being entirely heterosexual and hitting him. Had I been there, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself from beating the crap out of his dad…the bastard had no motherfucking right to put his hands on Vic just because he is mildly- gay.

“And then at the proper dinne-e-er.” Vic whimpered “They called me stupid names like ‘Viccy’ and wouldn’t stop talking about how gays ended up with HIV like ‘the disgusting creatures they are’.” He sobbed. “And how they go to freaking hell. They took Freddy Mercury as an example and severely defamed him knowing full well how much I admired him. It was all too much for me Jaime, that’s why I called you... I really couldn’t bear it anymore; I needed to escape. They won…Fuck, I’m getting emotional again... Last year I was rock; they could tell me anything and I wouldn’t flinch. I felt nothing. I miss that. I miss being strong…Oh…Jaime it’s…I” Vic continued.

“Shush. I get it; it was a horrible experience for you. I’m really sorry. I wish I could’ve been able to do something to prevent it; yet I couldn’t. Things happened and neither you nor I can do anything about it more than move on. So, now that you made kind of a catharsis by telling me all of it, try to leave it as what it really is: the past. Just...find a way to enjoy the present. I mean, if you look around, there are plenty of reasons to be happy. Damn, look at this landscape before us… Pacific beach at night is such a magical place to be, isn’t it?. Even from this car you can see the waves crashing against the rocks and slowly invade sand's territory; it is almost hypnotizing if you concentrate on it for a moment.” I uttered, hoping I would be able to distract and set him free from that anguish that seemed to be consuming his every cell.

“I know. I adore the ocean, the sea. It never fails to relax me; not even now. Watching it is just like staring into infinity. Sometimes, I want to just drown in it and never be found again. However, that’s not the point…I mean, Jaime I think it’s beyond obvious now that this…whatever it is… has to come…to…to…has to come to an end… I…” Vic stammered.

“Whoa. Hold on there! Haven’t you heard about the popular ‘don’t make promises when happy or take decisions when angry or sad’ phrase? Well if not, you should certainly apply it in both cases. Especially the first one. God, Vic, killing yourself is never the solution. Ever. There is no turning back from death. I mean, you can leave me, then change your mind and do something about it. All in all, it can be a temporary decision. Death is not. Death is not someone like you should be thinking about. Damn, you got a wonderful voice, you are sexy as hell…” I tried to reason with him.

“But I’m not happy.” Vic interrupted me.

“You were with me. This week. You were all laughs and smiles. You were flirting all the time. That’s why you can’t even consider ending our thing…C’mon! You looked so cheerful and lively… be sincere with yourself, you did like you hadn’t in a very long time. I saw it in your eyes, movements, actions, it was everywhere. Don’t even speak it up if you don’t want to. But do think about it. Carefully.” I urged him.

He wouldn't leave me... not after all he has gone through, right? I couldn't believe how stubborn (and suicidal) he was sometimes. He was never going to be happy if he kept on shutting off from what he enjoys most just because he is can't cope with other people's opinions. He had to learn to. I would help him, if he let me...

“It doesn’t matter. I might have felt like you said but it comes to this eventually. The downside. Being with a guy always ends up like this for me. Extreme feelings all the time…intense happiness first, depression next. It’s like euphoria. And I can’t handle it any longer. I prefer to be numb, to feel nothing and not be judged, or if so, judged for being rather antisocial, which I’m accustomed to… I’m so sorry, it was really the be…”

“Shut up. Give me one night. Not now because it's already too late…But tomorrow. I’ll take you dancing. Just that. If then you decide you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’ll accept it. Fuck, even if you decide it once one hour had passed in the club, I’ll take it and drive you home. Okay?” I demanded fixing my most intimidating gaze on him. Vic looked down at his knees. Yeah, it never failed.

“I don’t know. We will probably end up fucking and I’ll get confus…” The little rebel started.

Always so dubious.

“No, I promise I won’t do anything sexual to you…unless you clearly state you want me to, of course. It’ll be all up to you.” I assured him.

“Fine. But just that one night. And if I say no it will be permanent and we will go back to bandmates, no more you trying to seduce me around, okay?” The little rebel emphasized.

Oh, the fucker. He loves being enticed.

And yeah, one night in Venixx’s club was all I needed. One hour there would be enough actually. Nobody resisted me while dancing. Vic would be the innocent prey stepping into my territory.

He couldn’t even imagine what he had gotten himself into.

“Perfect.” I smirked as I started my car.