What I think.

April 18/14

I've never been one to think about suicide and here I am writing about it.

I could never do it but I do wonder why I'm here. Or let me rephrase; why do things like this happen to me. I might have mentioned before that many might have it worse. Mine is a different kind of worse. It's something I'm not use too, and instead of asking friends to help they ignore you and make the matter more difficult. So you can't cope, think, feel about anything other than unworthiness. I don't understand and I hope I will in the future. I'm sure this is just a faze that teens go through but I really wish it wasn't cause I waste enough of my time stressing already.

I should let it go, and not worry about it. That's the right thing to do right? I'm not sure. But I can't seem to do that. I'm different. I may go home and cry about someone being rude to me but because it hurts. It hurts inside. It feels like a sharp knife stabbing you in the back reminding you that what your doing is wrong. I'm my own person. I need to take a stand for what I think is right and if I don't then I should live life the way my dreams were meant to be.

My dream if you don't know. Is to move to New York. I want to be free. Start my own life. Get away from everything. Go for summer walks in Central Park and take in the air. Know that I'm not alone. And you too can be free.