What I think.

May 2/14

I've been having a rough time as you can probably tell but if there was one thing I have learned is that you can't run away from reality, and another thing I've learned is knowing when your in love.

Now this is a totally different topic then what I've been writing about recently. It's not about the person that I thought was a really good friend to me. I guess I never let myself believe he was just a too-faced back stabbing asshole. He makes you feel all warm and gushy and really good about your self till he jerks off.

But the reason I'm in love and I always have been with this other particular person is because of my so called best friend. If it wasn't for him I would never feel this way about the guy I truly love. I've never wanted to admit my love for for him because I knew it was a lie and a little teen crush that I would eventually get over, but I haven't and when we talk I just sit and smile at my phone. Like an idiot. A bright eyed gushing idiot that doesn't know what to say. He's not perfect, and I think that's what so imperfect is perfect about him. If that makes sense. He's not cute to anyone but me, he plays to many video games, which isn't totally my favourite, he gets really moody and he likes hockey while I like soccer, but the way his eyes sparkle and the crinkles in his smile makes me melt. I sound like a teen-age heart throbbing girl and so be it. But this. This is much different then I have ever felt in a very long time. A good different. A sign of relief and just maybe I can convince myself that it it will get better between us in the future.

"You mean a lot to me. I don't know why, I don't know how but we connect. If you don't realize that now then I don't think you ever will. But I will love you just the same, for now and forever. I hope you realize that we were once meant or still to be"