Letters & Rants

Dear ___, #4

Dear ___,
       I'm such an awkward person and when you flirt with me it's more awkward than I am. It's such a weird thing to do because you don't even know what I look like. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!! THIS ISN'T SOME TYPE OF NEW PHONE THING!!! WE'RE STRANGERS BEHIND COMPUTER SCREENS!! LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY!!! You're probably being nice and I'm overreacting but I'm just very uncomfortable. Your pickup lines are good though.
       You could also be a 60 year old man who likes toes on their pancakes. HE'LL I COULD BE A 200 YEAR OLD VAMPIRE WHO LIKES TO USE TREES AS SANDWICH BREAD!! YOU DON'T KNOW!! JEEZ I'M UNCOMFORTABLE
       I don't know how to really tell you I'm not interested. I'm not sure why you're interested in me. I hope you don't read this but I do at the same time. I kinda want you to take a hint but I'd be down to be friends!!

Sincerly,
A female that is pretty sure she likes males 

P.S. I'm sorry if I offended you