Letters & Rants

Dear ___, #9

Not edited because it didn't feel right to edit something that came from another part of me.
Dear #9,
       I know recently you haven't felt like yourself. Hell you haven't felt like yourself in a long time. And you don't really understand that. You feel lost and drained. And that's okay. It's okay if you're lost right now. You're still young and you have a lot to learn. Maybe you fell but I can assure you that you'll be fine. You'll get right back up like you always do. You're a strong person and you can get through this.

I know you feel alone. But it's alright. Maybe right now you're meant to get through this alone and learn something from it. I know you feel like you're your only friend. It's so hard right now to feel like this. You've got people who care for you. They believe in you. Just right now you're alone. You're going to feel alone. Let's just not end the year with you alone.

Pick yourself up. I know you're stronger than that. Don't let this small bump push you down. You're going to get through this because you always do. There has not been so time where you fell and you didn't get right back up. So pick up your self-esteem and grab your cup of tea and dog. You're going to march right ahead. When? I don't know. I wish I knew. It would help, wouldn't it?

Now put down the act. You know that's not you. I know that's not you. You can feel it's not you and it's trapping you into another world. Just be honest with yourself for a moment. Find yourself and be selfish for once.

I know you hate to disappoint people and see them in pain. But you're in pain too. And you feel alone right now. Just be selfish for once. Please. Just be selfish for once. What harm can it do to do some good for yourself? Patch and heal yourself before you move on to help others. What help are you if you've lost?

You'll be okay. Hopefully more than okay. I believe in you and I'm your friend. You'll get through this.

With lots of love,
Gabbie