The True Alpha

#43 The First Born

Ava

Now that I am so close to death, I finally understand the value of life.

I regret a lot of things but the biggest one out of all is not talking to my real mother when I had the chance.
If I die today it will be my biggest regret.
If I live today the first thing I will do is go to my mother and apologize for ignoring her and then have a heart to heart with her.

The pain that once consumed me, made peace with my body. I feel my body lighten when just one simple sentence runs through my head.

"I am going to meet my other half. In order to balance that, you will need your other half"
That day when the spirit of moon goddess paid me a visit, she said this before leaving.

But that's not it. She also mentioned that she lives inside me. Is that why I am feeling a strong surge of power inside me?

I don't understand the state I am in, I don't feel alive but I also know that I am not dead. It's as if everything has stopped around me, as if frozen.
Words after words roam in my mind and I try to lift my hand towards my head to stop it but I can't move my hands.

I am sure I should be scared but I am not. I feel another surge of energy inside me and I tremble from its intensity.
But the calmness washes over me quickly relaxing me.

"Ava? Baby?" a very pained voice speaks and suddenly it breaks havoc in my mind. All the calmness I had a second ago vanishes and instead anxiousness takes over.

I now realize the amount of power I have given to him over me. He is powerful because his voice alone can destroy me. My mind flashes me the last image that my eyes captured and that again was that bluish-green eyes that I can never forget.

The fear grips me and chokes me as I think of this particular man.
The one who is made for me, I tremble as finally it registers in my head that I am losing myself.

All the feeling returns as I feel as if I am drowning in deep water and can't come out of it. The inability to breath chokes me and I take a deep breath and jerk forward like a fish that came out of water and is now dying with the lack of water around it.

My body jerks again, more violently this time and I gasp loudly gulping air as my eyes come in contact with the same bluish-green eye. The first thing I see is his worried face and then his face relaxes as relief washes over me.

And I know these are his emotions and not mine.

I close my eyes once again and everything runs like a movie in my mind. I curse loudly as I remember me blackening out.

"Elias those warriors what happened?" I ask holding on to him and clutching his shirt tight in my hands as he stands beside the bed. He looks down with a neutral expression and takes my hand in his.

"Ava, some of them survived but are in critical condition and rest of them.." he trails off but I don't need him to finish the sentence. I already feel emptiness inside me as if a piece of me is taken; ripped out of my body.

I place my hand on my heart and close my eyes silently mourning for the brave ones who fought till their last breath for their pack.

"I can't do this Elias; I can't walk out to my pack in between those widowed women, orphaned kids and parents whose kids are currently fighting a battle in hospital. This is killing me, it is so bad" I choke on my words as a sob rips out of my mouth but I quickly hold myself and instead bury my head in his chest.
Elias pulls me closer to him and kisses my head silently.
I know he is here and I know he of all people understands perfectly what I am going through.