Tug of War.

The next Morning.

The next morning i got up and made my way to the bus stop. I didn't get much sleep last night so i had a pounding headache and heavy eyes. On arrival i found another human being sitting there, yet again in my seat. I squinted my eyes to make out his face clearly

"so this a regular thing now?" i asked, sort of disappointed that he was in my seat again.

He stood up, towering over me. I wasn't in the mood to play games today, when i lacked sleep i lacked tolerance for idiocy, indirect speech, flirting and-

The list goes on.

"Why can't it be?" he said putting two fingers on my chin and gently pulling my face towards his.

I turned my face to the side, it was funny i almost felt repulsed. By Kent?

He stood back, eyebrows drawn together. I shoved past him and sat down in my now empty seat. 

"Jewels-"  is all i heard before plugging in my earphones and turning up the volume to max.

I watched his shoulders sink from the corner of my eye, and felt his warmth as he sat next to me, I took no refuge in it like i had done before. I could feel him staring at me, wanting me to give in to his eyes but soon enough he gave up and turned away and i felt strong for not giving into him.

It seemed like it was awkward moment after awkward moment, in the bus there were no empty seats except for the one right at the back where Kent and i sat Yesterday. Rolling my eyes i walked to the seat, i could feel him behind me, hoping i would crack. When we sat down i slumped on the small ledge that held the window.

He then tugged on the bottom of my earphones disconnecting me from my music, even more pissed than i was before i glared at him.

"Jewels? What the hell?" He asked, fed up now.

"What do you mean what the hell? " I said sharply.

"Was this about yesterday?" he asked still fed up.

" Yesterday, The day before that, this morning. It's all about Kent huh?  You could have any girl- in fact you probably already have every girl, on the tips of your fingers. Well, not me okay? I don't want to be your little friend, i don't want to be one of the hundreds." I hissed.

"You know what? You are so right, i could have any girl. What the hell  am i doing here? Fighting with you?" He puffed, i could see him getting peeved. "Where the hell is this coming from Jewel? What did i do wrong?" He asked now genuinely annoyed.

i stared at his face that i once so deeply admired, now it was just a face. " You didn't do anything wrong" i said, i wasn't just going to spoon feed it to him.

" I don't know what has gotten into you-" he begun,

"What?" I yelled, drawing some attention to us.

"I thought we had an understanding." he started again.

"Me too." i said avoiding tears in my eyes.

"Obviously not." he pointed out.

I turned my eyes toward the window. 

"Jewels don't ignore me, say what you have to say. Plea-" his voice exasperated.

" You know what i am? I'm a pawn, in your little game. I was just the unlucky one yesterday, this time i wasn't the one in your arms, this time i was the victim of your hold. You latch onto people, make them feel special, and thats great Kent, Thats great. But you have a talent for making them want to latch back onto you and you did that to me." I said, tears now forming. 

"But we were easy" he pleaded.

my face was in pain now, my lips glitched as i tried to speak but nothing came out.

"If you wanted more, Goddamn Jewels, why didn't you just tell me?" He continued.

There was a pause.

"Because you said you loved me, you said you couldn't control yourself around me. You said it all, i thought i didn't need to." I finally exhaled my feelings. The tears flowing now, beat against the leather bus seat.

"I" he began, but could say no more.

I was exhausted. But my mind felt free. I could feel the guilt in his aura, and it intoxicated me. I was doing the same thing with Cole, and here i was ripping his ears out with my selfishness.

When the bus finally stopped, i climbed over him and sprinted to the door, shoving everyone in my way far to the side. I stepped outside and wiped my face, soaking in the freshness of the air, the atmosphere was to heavy in that bus. Suddenly, all the emotion was gone and i was laughing to myself. Laughing at my own self pity, people stared, but he watched. He watched me with despair, wishing as much as i did that it all didnt just happen, The story of Jewels and Kent was so short lived.

 Our eyes met one last time and my lust for his love washed over me again. I fought it and walked away. In my head, his eyes. His eyes. His eyes. His eyes met with mine on the last friday before summer. And i wondered, would that be the last time i felt that way, had we both finally done enough to hurt eachother?

Had we?