Love, Scars, & Shooting Stars

Chapter Forty-Five

"He's right, you know," Becca said, eyes closed behind designer shades as she slanted her face up to the Sunday sun. "You deserve to be happy."

Julie sighed. She'd been feeling far from happy for the past several days. Garrett was back in Portland for a couple of those previously-booked gigs he'd told her about, and Finn was practically suffering withdrawal symptoms in his absence. Plus, Julie hadn't seen Cameron at all since that night in his garage. Oh, she knew he was safe and all—she'd lain awake every night until she heard his truck pull into the drive—but still it made her uneasy. She was fairly certain that he was avoiding her, and she honestly couldn't blame him.

"Yeah, I know," she murmured, refocusing her attention on the conversation at hand.

"Do you?"

"Yes!" Julie insisted, digging her toes into the hot beach sand. "And I will be happy, just as soon as I know that Finn is."

"Oh, my God, Julie!" Becca huffed, sitting up and turning sideways to address her friend. "Finn is twelve—he's practically a teenager, for crying out loud! You remember being a teenager, right? He won't be happy about anything for at least another six or seven years, maybe longer!"

Julie chuckled, but Becca wasn't laughing.

"I'm serious, Julie! Are you really going to put your life on hold until then?"

"Maybe," Julie shrugged. "If that's what it takes."

"Well, you know what they say about 'all work and no play'," Becca cautioned, lying back on her beach chair and turning her face up to the sun. "Besides, nobody likes a martyr."

"Oh, so looking out for my kid makes me a martyr?"

"No, looking out for your kid to the exclusion of your own well-being makes you a martyr," Becca said matter-of-factly, propping herself up on one elbow and sliding her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. "Look, Julie. Finn's not the first kid in the world to grow up without a father—stop trying so hard to make it up to him. He's a good kid, and you're a terrific mom."

"Yeah, right," Julie snorted. "The librarian sees more of my son than I do!"

"Julie, you're a single mother," Becca reminded her. "You have to work, Finn knows that. Besides, there are worse places he could be hanging out."

"I know, but—"

"But nothing!" Becca argued. "Julie, you can't revolve your entire life around your kid and not leave a little something for yourself—trust me, I know!"

"Okay, that's it!" Julie sat up and spun around to face her friend. "What is going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's with all the cryptic little digs and comments you've been making lately?" Julie said. "That marriage is no bed of roses, and needing to have a life outside of your kids, and such. Becca, are things okay with you and Gary?"

Becca hesitated just a beat too long, and suddenly Julie wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer to that question. But her friend rallied, giving her a valiant smile and brushing off her concerns with a casual flick of the wrist.

"Yes, everything's fine," she assured. "But that's all it is—fine. Not thrilling, not exciting, not passionate... just fine. Truthfully, Julie? I envy you. You're young, you're beautiful, you're free... and you've got this gorgeous, amazing guy who would give his left nut to be with you!"