Love, Scars, & Shooting Stars

Chapter Forty-Six

"Okay, so you understand?" Finn's mother asked, and he hoped that it meant she was wrapping things up. "This is about you and your father, not me and him."

Finn shrugged, picking at the corner of the sofa cushion and studiously avoiding his mother's eyes. He should've known that his father would tell her.

"Yeah, I kind of already knew that when I asked," he said. "I mean, I know you probably still hate him and all..."

"What? Finn, why would you think that?"

The boy raised one shoulder and let it drop. "I dunno," he ventured. "Because he got to go away and have a life, while you got stuck with me—"

Finn jumped in alarm when his mother grabbed his chin and jerked his face around to meet hers.

"I did not get 'stuck' with you," she insisted, her eyes flashing wildly as they bored intently into his. "I wanted you, and don't you ever forget that, do you hear me?"

Finn nodded as best he could, and his mother suddenly realized the harshness of the grip she had on him. She let go and gently smoothed her palm along the edge of his jaw. "I don't hate your father, honey. How could I, when he gave me you?"

Finn rolled his eyes and sank back into the sofa cushions.

"He likes you, you know," he told his mother. "I mean, he likes you likes you."

"No, Sweetie, he doesn't—not in that way. Your father and I have a history together, and a child, but that's all. He doesn't have those other kinds of feelings for me anymore, and I don't have them for him," she said, as gently as possible. "He's here for you, and I think you're just imagining things that you wish were—" Julie stopped short. "Is that what you wanted? For me and your dad would get back together?"

Duh, Finn thought, rolling up to the edge of the sofa and bracing his elbows on his knees. That was all he'd ever wanted, but he wouldn't tell her that. It was never going to happen anyway, so what would be the point?

"No," he lied. "Not really, but... don't you ever wonder what it would be like to just be normal?"

His mother forced a smile and draped her arm over his shoulders. This was usually the part where she'd tell him that everything would be okay, that they were so much better off than a lot of other people, and that they should be grateful for the 'blessings' in their lives. Finn braced himself for the usual snow job, but instead she heaved a heavy sigh and leaned her head against his.

"All the time, Finny," she admitted. "All the time."