shadows » styles au

nine

chapter nine

"are you new here?" i ask her.

we were sitting down on one of the dark green couches by the wall.

she shrugged, "no," i turned to face her, "came here less than a year ago."

i nodded then turned back to stare outside the window.

"what about you?" she inquired.

i place a sad smirk on my lips, "it's my second time here. i was let out for one year and now i'm here again."

"why'd you come back? being trapped here isn't really the best thing in the world." she told me, and it was true.

being stuck here felt like you're a dummy, and they would control you.

i turned back to her, "i guess it's better than the world outside."

"sometimes. some days it's better to be locked up in here, some days

you'd kill for a breath of fresh air." luna chuckles a bit at the end, trying to lighten the mood.

i ruffled my hair and slid my hands through them, "i guess so."

her face turned much serious afterwards, "but seriously what was the real reason you came back?"

i sighed, taking in a deep breath and letting it out, "i tried to kill myself." her eyes filled with worry when i said those words, "i jumped off a bridge, fell into the water, but someone saved me."

she offered me a small sad smile. luna and i sat on each of the edges of the couch which gave us a lot of space apart. i was facing the window, she was facing the other side of the room.

"it's quite funny actually," she says after a few moments of silence, "we're just suicidal people, telling another suicidal person not to do it, when we try it ourselves."

she made a good point. i remember nate telling me that i shouldn't try anything to harm myself, but i saw his arm and there were cuts.

"i don't want to be a hypocrite, but don't do it." she continues.

"i'll try." i say and it was enough to put her at ease.

"what about you? why're you here? you don't seem like a person who'd be charged in this place." i point out.

she bites nervously on her lips and her fingers fidgets. she's nervous and scared to tell me.

i grin slightly, "it's alright, i won't judge."

she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, "it's gotten pretty bad actually, worse when i got here." she says and her fingers continue to move uncontrollably.

i give her a reassuring smile before she continued, "i have psychotic depression," she tells me, "and anxieties."

but her fidgeting didn't stop and her face was paler than it was when i first saw her. there was something else. i didn't push it any further though.

"i have to go." she says, standing up as her dark blue jumper falls mid-thighs. "nice meeting you harry." then she darts out of the room quickly before i could even muster up something to reply back.