It went on for how many days.
Every time I sleep, I'll wake up in another place. And same thing happens.
Parang napupunta ako sa ibang mundo habang natutulog ako.
Twing gigising naman ako ay humahangos ako at takot na takot.
So I thought the solution is not to sleep anymore.
Hindi ako natulog magdamag. Pilit kong nilalabanan ang antok.
Nagtutulog tulugan ako kapag may nurse at doctor sa gabi. Ganun din kapag nasa tabi ko si Mommy.
Gabi gabi nya akong binabantayan.
Narinig kong bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at may pumasok.
"How is she?" boses ni Dad.
"No improvement." mom answered. "It's all your fault."
"Doreen, please. Don't put the blame on me. I don't want this to happen to our daughter. Hindi ko naman akalain na ganito ang magiging impact sa kanya eh."
"I can't bear any child. Xyerah is the only one I have. Look how this situation is ruining her life now" sabi ni Mommy.
"Honey." naramdaman kong lumapit si Daddy. "I'm sorry. I thought things will work out the same as ours. Yung kinabukasan lang naman nya ang iniisip ko."
"Can't we just say no?"
"What?" dad asked.
"Say no to this marriage, Wei." sagot ni Mommy. "I don't want to risk Xyerah's life for this agreement."
"Doreen.. "
"Mamili ka. Kami ng anak mo o ang kumpanya?" mariing tanong ni Mommy.
"You spoiled her too much, Doreen. Matatanggap nya rin in time. I won't say no but I will give her time to think about it."
I heard my mom sighed.
Well, that's fine. I don't care about it anymore. I just want to go back to my normal life. Isa pa, wala na rin naman akong boyfriend na ipaglalaban.
"By the way, did you tell her that?" tanong ni Daddy.
"What's that?" mom asked back.
"That she's adopted." mahinang sabi ni Dad.
"No. I never said anything to her. I thought you did" mom answered.
"Of course not. Why would I?"
Both of them became silent.
Nakikinig lang ako habang nakapikit. Napaisip din ako.
Hindi ko alam kung sino ang nagsabi sa akin, pero mula pagkabata ay alam ko nang ampon ako.
***
Kinabukasan, gising pa rin ako.
Mom fell asleep sitting on my side. I feel sorry for her. Ilang gabi na syang nagpupuyat kababantay sa akin.
Bumangon ako mula sa kama.
Naramdaman nya ang pagkilos ko at agad syang nagising.
"Sweetie, you're awake." she looked at me with blood shot eyes. I can tell na ilang gabi na syang walang tulog.
Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Good morning mom"
Hinaplos nya ang buhok ko. "Good morning. Are you hungry? How are you feeling right now?"
"Okay na ako mommy." I said. "Hindi nyo na po ako kailangang bantayan gabi gabi. Pwede na nga rin akong umuwi eh."
Umiling sya. "No, you have to undergo therapy and counseling. You have to stay here for the mean time."
"Mommy, I'm okay. Hindi ko kailangan ng mga yun."
"You need it, please Xyerah. For once, makinig ka naman sa mommy.." she said.
Yumuko ako. "Sorry mom. I didn't mean to make you worry about me."
"It's ok. Afterall, you're my baby. So promise me you will follow what the doctor says, okay?"
Tumango ako at ngumiti.
BINABASA MO ANG
NEVER FAR AWAY
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