In Another Life (1993-1996)

I want to live I don't want to die

“Eve, your uncle is here to see you. He says it’s important you hurry up, as he has an appointment with Barak Obama, he says it’s good for you to know this. So, I’ll tell him you’ll be down in 10 minutes?” Wanda closed the door as my eyes flickered open. It wouldn’t be a surprised if I had dark rings underneath them, as I hadn’t slept. A dream had haunted me, a repeating shifting dream full of shapeless people all wearing black, crying over me as I lay paralysed. This was bad. I had very little time left if I wanted to get out of here. It wasn’t real; the people I knew here were hallucinations. They didn’t know anything about where I came from, all except this mysterious uncle. Maybe it was time to meet him.

Getting up and dress took little less than 5 minutes yet when I got down stairs, he was gone. There was just a note left on Wanda’s worktop.

‘Not quite yet. You’ve got to work it out. You’ve had everything you need, heard everything you need to hear. Use that brain of yours.’

Work out what? And why now? What was I waiting for? I hadn’t realised until just now but I was scared. Scared and lonely. I wanted my old friends, my old world and my old life. Wanda walked in and patted me on the back as she passed.

“What’s the problem sweetie?” She looked at me properly. “You look like death on legs. Do you need me to drop you off at the doctors or anything?” I just smiled weakly through her hands which were touching my cheeks as she inspected my eyes.

“I’m okay. Honestly. I just didn’t get much sleep.” Her face relaxed.

“Bad dreams?” Nodding, setting about making toast. “Aw don’t worry. Hey, have you date for prom yet? Benny has. Do you know her? He said she is really nice. It’s good to see he is not going to be alone...” Wanda carried on chatting away. Ben had said I was really nice; well that was a turn up for the books.

“Speak of the devil!” His hair sticking up all over, still only wearing his boxers, Ben walked in. He scratched the back of his head as he yawned and I couldn’t help but noticed that his fine stomach muscles, the obvious result of regular trips to the gym.

“Mum, have you bought my mask yet?” Wanda just looked at him.

“No. As you haven’t informed me what your lady friend will be wearing. We can’t have you looking like a shambles if she is looking lovely. What mask is she wearing?” When his mum had turned her back Ben grimaced at me, appearing not to be a fan of being nagged. He nodded his head out of the door into the kitchen. Then he walked out before he was completely gone he poked his hand around the door and beckoned me to follow.

“Wanda I’ve just got to go and, erm, practise my guitar. I’ll be back before the kettles boiled.” I followed Ben outside.

Ben was leaning against the door frame looking hot. He had smoothed out his hair a little since the kitchen and wasn’t looking as early-morning-dazed as he had been a few minutes ago.

“As you have probably noticed, my mother has been pestering my over my lovely dates outfit since I told her I had one. A date I mean.” He beamed at me. I smiled back. He was so sweet when he wanted to be.

“I’m wearing a white mask with a pink dress, so if you go for a black suit and a red tie and mask we should look the business.”

“Oh I’m sure you will but I’m not so certain about me. I’m going to look shocking.” I just gave him a look to say ‘shut up’. He just replied by sticking his tongue out. Then he appeared to remember something.

“Oh yeah, I saw this when I came down stairs. It was for you I think.” He handed me a letter in untidy writing slanting slightly to the left.

I got your letter. I don’t completely get what you’re trying to get at but I think I have a good idea. We’ll see if I’m right wont we?

There was some more writing, but it was illegible as the pen had spread over the paper. Behind it was a flyer, water spoiled like the letter, you could just make out that there was 5 faces, probably men. I had a good idea of who sent the letter but no idea what it meant.

Ben was still searching for a reaction.

“Who is it from?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He patted my head.

“God, your short.” I smacked him across the chest with the back of my hand. He pretended to stagger backwards, clutching at his chest as he was shot. I laughed and turned away. Before I could walk two paces I was being tickled from behind.

“No! I don’t like it!” I was laughing though so he didn’t believe me. Wanda’s voice echoed in from the next room. Ben stopped tickling me and just kept his hands on my waist.

“What are you to up to? You’ve got dates remember!” Ben stopped and stepped away from me, just before Wanda’s head popped around the door. She just looked suspicious and her head disappeared again. His hands returned to my waist and his breath behind my ear, Ben definitely knew how to play it smooth.

“A car is coming at 8 on prom night. Ill tell mum that im taking you, shall I?”

“Yeah.” Again his hands disappeared, and he was off up the stairs. I was left smiling for some weird reason.