Sanders Sides One shots

Faking happy (polysanders)

The new video just killed me on the inside. I mean; Patton repressing his feelings, Logan ducking out, Roman trying to rekindle a relationship that didn't work out, Virgil feeling more anxious than usual and not being able to tell the others, and Thomas drowning his sadness in nastalgia, ughh my babies stop this unhealthy behavior T_T
Anyway lol onto the story

*3rd POV* (oh my goodness I did)

Patton walks down the hallway of the mindscape, rubbing at his eyes. He had woken up to nightmares, as per usual, although not telling any of his boyfriends.

He slumps into the kitchen, grabbing the cookies and sitting on the counter.

As he bites into a cookie, he sinks into thought.

*Patton POV* (back at it again)

It's been about a year since Lo, Virge, Ro and I have gotten together. We usually sleep in Logie's room, seeing as his room usually only makes us smarter.

Although; I can't help but to feel like the only reason they are with me is out of pity. I mean, they constantly insult me, albeit unintentional, and never really need me.

A lot of people, including the other sides as well as the kiddo, think that Virgil, being Anxiety, is the cause of Thomas' self negativity.

In reality, it's me. I'm the one who makes Thomas feel bad about himself, by feeling bad about myself. And making Thom feel bad, makes me feel worse about myself.

It's a vicious loop.

I reach up to rub the tears away- wait, when did I start crying...?

I hear a sharp gasp and look up, seeing my three boyfriends, all looking worried.

"O-oh, hey kiddos, what's up? do you need anything?" I look at the clock, 5:34. Jeez I've been here for about four hours.

I set down the mostly empty cookie jar, and get off the counter, wiping my face for stray tears.

"Patton... what's wrong...? This is the third time we've cought you crying while stuffing your face with cookies this week." I promptly break down, crying into Roman's bright red sash, the others holding tightly to my hands, knowing that I crave physical attention.

I choke everything out, hating my self, the depresion, the cutting. As I finish, Virgil pulls up the sleeve of my cat onsie to reveal me self harm scars, both old and new.

"How... how could I not have noticed? I'm supposed to be the smart one, how did I not notice, you're always wearing short sleeves?" Logan questions.

Virgil's eyes widen. "L-log... r-remember when Pat did my makeup a week after we started dating...? He was really good at it, a-and I asked how he got that good... I-i think I know now... My god..."

At this point, everyone in the kitchen was tearing up, even Logan.

Roman speaks for the first time since coming to the kitchen, his voice choked. "Patton, we love you. You know that right...? We all love you very much. Please, please promise us you won't do this anymore. If you are feeling bad, come talk to one of us." He sniffles, wiping his eyes. "Or all of us, if you prefer. Just no more of this. It's not healthy, babe. Please, just no more hurting yourself..." He trails off.

I lean in and give all of my wonderful boyfriends a peck on the lips, tasting salt on all of thier lips.

"I love you too. And I promise."

I'm sorry I needed to wright some angst. I've just been feeling all types of bad, and needed to vent since my girlfriend is not with me right now. Anyways, I swear to God, I cannot finish with a sad ending, but I will try. That is a promise. Cya!