No one understands just how much their words and actions hurt her. Her friends may joke about many things, but they attract attention. She gets called a bitch jokingly, but in 7th grade it was real. She was made fun of for being homeschooled, now people joke about it and it hurts. She's gotten hit in the back with a basketball and a football. People just laughed at her only a few were worried. Her own friends laughed.They even ruined her lunch by putting their trash on her tray. They messed with her every day they could. She started eating less or not eating at all.
Her condition just got worse. She was the loner when 8th grade started. She hated life in general and wanted to die. Though she acted happy around her friends she secretly hated life. Then she met him for the first time. Things started looking up until rumors started. Then she fell back down. She wanted an escape. She wanted to get drunk with one friend, smoke with another, get high with two of them, and just cut alone. She would never tell them what she did do. She'd cry and cut. She'd take a belt and start to suffocate herself then stop, remembering what her friends told her. She started to eat less. She'd skip one meal, then she'd skip another meal. She refused to finish all her food.
This kept going. Now she's a freshmen in high school. She still eats little. She still harms herself, but she's slowly getting better. Still very suicidal due to all the tricks played. Very hurt and scared by the games. Her first heartbreak was terrible. She had been secretly dating someone and he cheated on her. She refused to tell anyone what happened. She paranoid, insecure, and terrified of love. She's still a child in this new game. She hates being used and that's all she ever feels like. Because that one guy hurt her so bad.
She's still fighting. Waiting for all her secret bullies to leave her alone. Waiting for someone to notice and stand up for her. Waiting for the bullies, who ignore her so often that it hurts, to see her scars and wish they'd seen the signs sooner. She's waiting and hoping and wishing for something to happen. Her own parents have turned into an enemy. Her mind plays tricks and she lives in constant fear.
So she waits. She waits patiently. She knows people will leave her, but she's waiting. She's waiting and wishing. She's still fighting. Maybe now you can see her scars. Maybe now you can see the pain in her eyes and hidden in her smile. Maybe now you can her a quiet voice calling for help. But maybe you can't. Because you could be one of the secret bullies. She needs help. Will you be the one to try and help save her? Or will you be the one who helps her die? It is your choice. Choose wisely.
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YOU ARE READING
Worthless
Non-FictionDo you know what it really feels like? She does. It is all she's ever known, and she is me.